Ckazochny sleep and goldfish

On the eve of the day when I found out about the pregnancy, I had a fabulous dream: a beautiful young man in a white dress with an open affectionate gaze gave me a "goldfish", he carefully placed it in my hand and disappeared in a cloud, as if it never was ...

"It must be a gift of an angel, messenger of heaven ... "- I thought. Sleep proved prophetic: My husband and I waiting for good news ... From the first day I felt very a proud and important - to me now maturing miracle - new life! This realization filled every day that some sacred sense - I did not come for nothing in this world. I I give him a miracle.

Already in the first trimester, I became notice a surprising change: exacerbated hearing, vision ... even familiar emotion I experienced as something new. Wise nature has thought of everything for us: it must I have awakened in me the primitive maternal instinct when his baby want to keep anxiety and hazards.

From conversations with my friends - moms I learned many interesting things. It turned out that they're just like me, found hidden the talents of: attraction to drawing, singing, prosody, intolerable desire create, create - in this period all It was necessary somehow to express awakened his creative potential.

Frankly: I felt itself is excellent, there was not frightening toxemia, or edema. Very pleased walks with her beloved husband warm summer evenings, starry sky, ice cream ... Yes, I'm the most happy ordinary little things!

The future "father" seemed excited about his new role much more than me. At first, he took all my pregnancy as a disease: his concern even I began to frighten her, as if mildly say impudence! He literally "Shaking" over me, as if I had a crystal Medieval vase unknown artist.

But I had the patience and forces to explain to him because of the day that Pregnancy - is the normal state woman I have no pain, I well, I feel good ... Finally, he began to listen to I gradually calm down. A more In order for each of my creative impulse - That compose a poem, then make the frame Photo of twigs, nuts and other things - he is alive and with joy I responded. My favorite was near and tolerated my whims for what I did not I stop thanking him.

Closer to leave me as, probably, at any pervorozhenitsy, exacerbated fears before the birth process itself, which Only then may say - and bad frightening. "Now this is going to happen and with me! - Horror whispered to himself I. But thanks to mom, she managed to find the right words to soothe his doch silly.

At that time, I did myself It was still a child. Now I think that it is my mother's attitude and support greater all helped me to mentally prepare for the leave. Contractions, doctors, vanity - all It left behind, as if in a fog. I took a deep breath and tired He opened his eyes a tiny tender lump lying on my chest ... My krovinushka my piece, my the soul!

It was a truly magical moment - I became a mother! once My "gold fish" would call me so I probably burst into tears. I become sentimental - it exactly! Child's first night in the hospital at mothers take to enable it to recuperate and come a. Then I felt a strong weakness, but somehow could not sleep.

Suddenly I heard a cry - I do not know why but near something stung. Overpowering fatigue, I walked to the sound of the voice. I do not know, match it or speak the truth, recognizes that the real mother crying the kid out of a thousand, but I Dilnaz called my - when I I decided to give her this beautiful Arabic name - "a gentle voice."

That night, I took her to his Chamber, in spite of all prohibitions and rigorous persuasion midwives. I do not I closed my eyes, but I was happy. I I did not feel tired and time just looking at her ... And I it seemed that the whole world has just the two of us….. Dilnaz grew and gained strength with each day.

First smiles and "agukanya" forced to cry even my serious and sometimes surly husband! I that's what I realized: it is not I help grow and be happy that the crumbs and it helps me to mature spiritually and build ... There were, of course, difficult periods: childhood diseases and the first "Lacrimal" hiking in the garden, and baby stubbornness ...

I saw it myself. we We were always on the same wavelength as if, accessible only to the two of us, we if it linked to invisible all surrounding the thread, Toe the line. It helped her understand, feel and move on. Although at times tormented by questions: how make sure to trust that She shared her experiences as general need to educate girls, because they are the future daughter, wife, Mom?

I decided to let her do as a You can most. Let her sometimes get awkward, but if you want something I only: wants to help vacuuming in three years - please knead dough - please let dust and flour, but we are fun, because we just learning! This communion, first turn, is vital to me Best!

Dilnaz was more than three months when I took her to the Kangaroo stole from, this is where more convenient than awkward stroller. It He went with me to visit a friend, habituated to people, to children. Being still quite crumbs, not afraid to go on the handles. Perhaps that is why it It is now so easy to go on contact with different people.

More baby she traveled from me in art galleries, parks, pool and beauty salon, summer cafes in the open air - I generally I try not to sit at home. I she constantly tells something - About life, plans, secret dreams ... she understands me or No, I do not know, but I believe that be sure to understand the future.

Now Dilnaz five years. It is a leader in the group, is able to read write. I understand that difficulties were and are just I think the most important thing - understand it, is not to educate, but It is to "understand", and, of course, love.

Angel I dreamed a reason: He entrusted me with a treasure in the form my "goldfish", now I It has to be good to her my mother, the most caring and tender, What was once my mom.

My new dad

After the divorce, life does not end, and one day my mother met a man, who will become not only her husband, but the father of ... How to improve relations with the new baby daddy? How to introduce them and make friends?

Simple question, because every family that scenario develops differently.

Play an important role, and the desire of the new pope to establish relations with a child of his wife, and the tone of communication with your baby's biological father ... But if you fear the difficulties on the way to a happy family, it can not build ... But just now you are in the hands of a chance! We, in turn, suggest that you consider a number of important issues and draw attention to the subtleties of the following ...

Moment 1. Preparation

The house came "Uncle N" - the baby bristled like a hedgehog ... Alertness and anxiety when a child with his mother on his territory "alien uncle" caused by subconscious fears for her baby in the family. The applicant for her mother's hand and heart is still only horizon, and the crumb is already experiencing the fear of losing their parent fears that the "stranger" it takes.

Still would! First mom was at the disposal of the child, it is entirely owned by its attention and now, and now the place under the sun even have to share with someone ... It follows, beginning to live as a family do not send the kid to "link", for example , to Grandma. Otherwise, the child's darkest fears were confirmed ...

We do not recommend and insist on joint pastime toddler with present or future stepfather. Permissibility of the maximum - to spend leisure time all together - the child, mum, her chosen one. Do not rush things! The ice begins to melt very slowly, but in the end, two people close to you take a closer look.

And most important, for the successful start of a new and happy family life do not tune to the fact that everything is difficult, and nothing bad will come of it because "my friend Vera (Oli, Gali) was the same story" ... Remember that thoughts are material and personal experience is unique, and then - you're smart and strong woman!

Do you like her new husband and adore the child, who will be able to give the coveted "an anchor of peace", demonstrating their love does not spare time is to tenderness and affection for the baby - even if he "bristled" the main thing - reinforce the feeling that his mother did not " stolen "and remain there.

2. Moment Lapping

It happens that a woman requires the new elect almost instant love for their child or children. This is a mistake, because, first, love can not be required, and, secondly, it never comes immediately ... And then men hate claim in the style of "you must." What to do?

Rather than seek to immediately establish relations "in a real family", set short-term plans. First of all -poluchshe acquaint the child with her new husband, give them both realize that you understand their complicated feelings in this period. How is it done?

Again, often Happen out way, talking to each other, looking for an occasion for jokes and laughter -yumoru subject to the greatest difficulty! And in the native land of her husband and child connect to the joint cases - for example, cooking a family dinner - baby can wash vegetables for salad, and my father - peeling potatoes.

Mom's prerogative - to conduct dialogue and build his small team ... Gradually you can trust tandem "stepfather and child" job for two - just let this work will be easy and pleasant, for example, to buy a house in a new item, choose the cafe for birthday celebration. ..

If the stepfather will discuss the choice with crumbs and listen to his opinion - successful adaptation will go faster. And how will a pleasure to both, if the mother will approve the chosen option and with a smile praise beloved family!

3. Check the Moment

At first, the child may want stepfather exam. As if becoming a "little monster", it will be in every way, and sometimes completely gratuitously provoke a new pope - testing its resistance. The appearance of a man in a child's life can raise from the depths of his consciousness distrust of "father figure" and the fear that it may again throw.

And since the best defense - attack, some of the offspring to start without any, justification aggressively treat the chosen one of his mother. What to do?

Give your child the right to such behavior, so that he could throw out the negative margin, which was formed after his mother's, my father's divorce or the sudden appearance of "alien uncle" competitor in the mother's love. However, do not tighten during this "testing".

And to lighten the mood, convince the kid that his feelings and behavior are understood and accepted, "You hard to trust the new pope and to believe in what you are important to him. But he and I will try very much to all of us feel comfortable with . We love you no matter how good or bad you are behaving ... ".

And if you say that you understand the child, try to show him this. Do not be ashamed before the new baby's dad - even while all the educational aspects of the negative context will be as soft or in a format "mother-child alone."

Do not insult the child, comparing it with the mother or dad remembered negatively of his relatives on the paternal side. Hold the temptation to play on the contrast: never condemn a father of the child, exposing stepfather in the best light. Continue kid favorite rituals: reading him bedtime stories, kiss in the morning before going to kindergarten and so on. D.

4. Moment of Diplomacy

Epoch Comparisons may be replaced by an era of diplomacy. What to do if your child openly declares his stepfather: "My dad knows how to play football, and you - no!"?

In no case do not lose your composure and do not see in these words a challenge or threat. Wise stepfather does not take into the account the stepson or stepdaughter aggression because understands exactly would be met by any man be in his place. And he will try to prove the extent of their abilities, that the kid was lucky, because this place was exactly it.

"But I'm good at computers you want, and show you how to draw the electronic image?" Or "I know how to fish and cook delicious soup - go together on the weekends on the river?". The more alternatives to demonstrate the new pope, the more quickly adjusted his friendship with the child.

5. Moment of Status

So, in a new family everything was okay. And so the question arises: how to name the baby receiving the Pope? There is no single answer. If small children - crumbs to 2-3 years - go for it eagerly, the kids are older, especially if the warm relationship with his own father can not bring myself to use the word "dad" twice.

In this case, do not reproach the child and encourage the fact that many of today's families even own children called their parents by name. In any case, do not make a problem: the main thing in your new home is not how someone called and warm relations.