How to mend relations with her mother in law

Family relationships can be very complex, especially if they interfere with the mother in law.

By following these tips, you will realize how easy it is to become the best friend of his in-laws.

1. Understand your mother in law

Perhaps your spouse at birth was the most important person in the life of your mother in law. You will not only interfere in the family, but the mother and ranks as the person with whom your man discusses all issues.

Not so easy loving mother to understand and accept this fact. Sign in her position.

2. Praise your mother in law

It is very important for the relationship. Remember that you replace your mother in law the role of people in the greatest need your spouse. This is noticeable for your mother in law, which no longer feels as young and strong as it once was.

Keep her self-esteem by praising her for each of its positive qualities.

3. Maintain a close relationship

Talk to your mother-in everything. The best way to prevent friction and misunderstanding - to find out the cause. Since in-law feels threatened by the daughter, she usually goes to extremes: either disappear from your life altogether or meddling.

Maintain an open dialogue, and thus you can avoid unnecessary disputes and clashes.

4. Have patience

Our restless and intransigence society is full of callous people. Change your attitude and approach to mother in law. Allow it to act on its own, because she lives in the world longer than you.

Remember, this is not the end of the world if you do not know whether the roast duck is ready, and if your child is sleeping in the afternoon with her grandmother. Your relationship with her should be based on patience.

5. Do not take criticism to heart

Many relationships are destroyed because of the fact that in-law complains or releases stinging comments about the lifestyle of the couple or they do anything. Always remember the saying that there are people who belittle others in order to feel better.

Repeat it to yourself, think about the importance and seriously what she said, and when to meet again with her, reset all off and start again, as if nothing had happened.

6. Ask for forgiveness

If the situation worsens, forget your pride and ask for forgiveness. You will feel better. Your husband will feel better and your mother in law too. Of course, this amuse her vanity.

In any case, to life-in-law does not become a hell, and that it does not destroy your relationship with your husband, remember the great commandment - "Thou shalt love thy neighbor", forgiving her aggression, friends with her. And then she will appreciate it and understand that with you - force.

The magic power of words

Often we forget to thank the very people who most deserve it. Considering that this is a matter of course, we rarely talk to our loved ones thanks and love. Oddly enough, but people often

It was inattentive to those closest to them. Many people throw out all the words of gratitude from your vocabulary and replace them with the orders and threats.

Young children are constantly reminded about the "magic words" - "thank you" and "please". But growing up, people forget the importance of these simple and familiar words to all.

"Thank you"

It is proved that the word "thank you" itself is perceived positively and add positivity in communication between people. Thanks - it's a sign of sympathy one person to another. I agree that if you are nice to someone, you do not want to spoil the view of myself and something to hurt this man.

So when you tell someone "thank you", you automatically increase the chances of a positive outcome of the conversation. Even during an argument or quarrel "thank you" and "please" can defuse the situation.

"Please"

For example, teenagers consider themselves old enough to walk late and ignored requests from parents. How to get your son to help you around the house?

Children know they need to help their parents, and are often reluctant to take up the cleaning or cooking.

But if you ask teenage daughter put in the oven the meat to the evening the whole family can enjoy a tasty dinner, and note that you have to help her very much hope that, most likely, a daughter fulfill your request.

Thus, it will have serious matter, and because of the word "please" and polite to your request, it will not be her duty, and her choice.

At work and in life

If the workshop manual chastises department, it is usually subordinate or are silent and suffer the criticism, or begin to make excuses and argue.

Try instead of excuses to say something like this: "Mr. Smith, thank you very much for your honest and objective view from outside. Your opinion is very important to me and I certainly I will consider the comments and will correct all defects. "

Another magical property of the word "thank you" - a soft response to the denial. Let's say you really do not like to deny the people and say "no" to you is akin to torture. Replace the word "no" to the "thank you".

For example, at the request of a friend borrow your favorite dress instead of a hard "no" can say "thank you for what you appreciate my taste in clothes, but unfortunately it is this thing I treasure and I can not even give it to you."

Keep in mind that very few people can answer a polite thank you boorishness. And uttered "thank you" after the improper behavior or statements companion makes him feel guilty.

Even in our world, where many feel constant stress and are ready to break to the first comer, banal politeness works wonders.

Do you agree that the "magic words" - an important part of interpersonal communication? Would you like to have these words sounded more often?

Do you think that now these words too neglected? We discuss in the comments to the article!

10 Commandments for mother in law

How to build a relationship with daughter

The conflict between the inherent nature of women. Mother hard to accept the fact that she would have to share a son with another woman. It can not be comfortable with the fact that it brought up a child, not only loves her.

She is jealous. And so the daughter seeks to various disadvantages.

"Parents do not realize how much harm they are causing to their children when using their parental authority, they want to impose their beliefs and outlooks on life."

Felix Dzerzhinsky

"If parents could only imagine how they bored their children! "

George Bernard Shaw

Coming home you ring up friends:

- Mol chose himself as the son of his wife, I could not find better! Tells him marry Maschke, no! I do not listen! And this ... And the side-law, as expected, it is pouring all that has accumulated from the time of formation of the son of his own family.

Do you recognize yourself?

What directs behavior-in-law in the sphere of confrontation with the daughter?

• Fear that love for her son would be less than that now it would be unnecessary and its "forgotten". Before your marriage, she was the only woman in the main life of the son, but after the wedding, she realizes that the "main" woman's place can be occupied.

• Position the defeated power. Anyway, the mother greatly influences the behavior of the son (or thought to affect). Now that her son goes into "possession" sister, is perceived very painful.

• Increased emotionality. The woman lives more than the heart, the emotions, so it is difficult to accept in-law that she had "robbed" of the "most expensive."

• For women, due to the biological, historical, social role of the family is always the most sense and meaning. Therefore, any reshuffle, "loss" in the family are extremely sensitive just for women.

All these moments consciously or unconsciously present in every mother in law. The conflict between the inherent nature of women. Mother hard to accept the fact that she would have to share a son with another woman.

It can not be comfortable with the fact that it brought up a child, not only loves her. She is jealous. And so the daughter seeks to various disadvantages. For the most beautiful daughter-in-law - only the mother of her grandchildren, her son's wife. This is more or less successful application to your loved ones.

Ideal relationship in this situation is not based on emotions but on mutual agreements and, most importantly, the distance.

Especially when the family appears another link connects you - the child.

To maintain a more or less equal relations enough to learn a few rules, then the daughter will go smoothly from the category of "bad" if not in the "favorite" is an extreme case of "tolerance"

1. It is no match for him.

As if you do not like his choice is the choice of your son, and we must respect it. You made him for what? That's right - for his own happiness, so let him build this happiness with the woman he chose, and you step aside after collecting all the power, do not prevent the formation of a new family, post your tips on the case when they are asked.

2. Pity son.

After a quarrel with your daughter cause it to be torn between you. How should he feel caught between two fires? You will not feel sorry for him? Many mother-in-a lifetime perceive their child as a part of yourself and do not feel the boundaries separating them. They need constant replenishment of the son of attention and care, evidence that his soul mother takes the first place.

Mom, that is you, no one will replace him. You will be the first day of his friend and counselor, and the most beloved mother in the world, where and with whom he lived. And do not be jealous of his daughter, she did not seek to get into the role of a mother to your son. Do not like a daughter, but the son of a pity!

3. "So far, so close".

Love of family is measured in kilometers. And this applies to in-law to a greater extent. Do you live nearby? Pretend that you are far away and do not bother the children regular visits. Want to see her son, bored? The most reasonable invited him to chat. Before we go to visit the children think. After the son is no longer alone, and it would be happy to visit your sister in law?

4. The role of the investigator.

How do you want him to come to the apartment and see what she made as removed as the newly made husband stroked the shirt? Surely it's not like you! Yes, and garbage is not thrown out! Slut! But if all you perfect? Ask yourself, honestly, who are we kidding here?

Yes, we admit no one is perfect. Because a daughter can forgive the flaws. But the family is just starting its way, the distribution of roles, household chores. What role do you want for yourself? Director warden or still beloved grandmother to grandchildren?

It is important to understand that this is not your family, and your garbage is not as if you wanted to. Throw themselves, and not throw their care.

It would seem that the wedding took place, children live quietly, quietly. And now comes the long-awaited moment - the new family has a new little person, your grandson! And new colors appear in relation with the daughter ...

No shows grandson, nursing does not, does not know how to swaddle, and not feed properly. You have brought up a son of experience behind them, all know. She what? Where did it, so inexperienced and stupid, can know what to do with this tiny lump? We must help, that no errors have done!

STOP! You asked about this? In human relationships, there are situations and experiences which touch them so that a person can lose control over what's happening. The birth of a baby is a situation for a young mother.