How to mend relations with her mother in law

Family relationships can be very complex, especially if they interfere with the mother in law.

By following these tips, you will realize how easy it is to become the best friend of his in-laws.

1. Understand your mother in law

Perhaps your spouse at birth was the most important person in the life of your mother in law. You will not only interfere in the family, but the mother and ranks as the person with whom your man discusses all issues.

Not so easy loving mother to understand and accept this fact. Sign in her position.

2. Praise your mother in law

It is very important for the relationship. Remember that you replace your mother in law the role of people in the greatest need your spouse. This is noticeable for your mother in law, which no longer feels as young and strong as it once was.

Keep her self-esteem by praising her for each of its positive qualities.

3. Maintain a close relationship

Talk to your mother-in everything. The best way to prevent friction and misunderstanding - to find out the cause. Since in-law feels threatened by the daughter, she usually goes to extremes: either disappear from your life altogether or meddling.

Maintain an open dialogue, and thus you can avoid unnecessary disputes and clashes.

4. Have patience

Our restless and intransigence society is full of callous people. Change your attitude and approach to mother in law. Allow it to act on its own, because she lives in the world longer than you.

Remember, this is not the end of the world if you do not know whether the roast duck is ready, and if your child is sleeping in the afternoon with her grandmother. Your relationship with her should be based on patience.

5. Do not take criticism to heart

Many relationships are destroyed because of the fact that in-law complains or releases stinging comments about the lifestyle of the couple or they do anything. Always remember the saying that there are people who belittle others in order to feel better.

Repeat it to yourself, think about the importance and seriously what she said, and when to meet again with her, reset all off and start again, as if nothing had happened.

6. Ask for forgiveness

If the situation worsens, forget your pride and ask for forgiveness. You will feel better. Your husband will feel better and your mother in law too. Of course, this amuse her vanity.

In any case, to life-in-law does not become a hell, and that it does not destroy your relationship with your husband, remember the great commandment - "Thou shalt love thy neighbor", forgiving her aggression, friends with her. And then she will appreciate it and understand that with you - force.

The magic power of words

Often we forget to thank the very people who most deserve it. Considering that this is a matter of course, we rarely talk to our loved ones thanks and love. Oddly enough, but people often

It was inattentive to those closest to them. Many people throw out all the words of gratitude from your vocabulary and replace them with the orders and threats.

Young children are constantly reminded about the "magic words" - "thank you" and "please". But growing up, people forget the importance of these simple and familiar words to all.

"Thank you"

It is proved that the word "thank you" itself is perceived positively and add positivity in communication between people. Thanks - it's a sign of sympathy one person to another. I agree that if you are nice to someone, you do not want to spoil the view of myself and something to hurt this man.

So when you tell someone "thank you", you automatically increase the chances of a positive outcome of the conversation. Even during an argument or quarrel "thank you" and "please" can defuse the situation.

"Please"

For example, teenagers consider themselves old enough to walk late and ignored requests from parents. How to get your son to help you around the house?

Children know they need to help their parents, and are often reluctant to take up the cleaning or cooking.

But if you ask teenage daughter put in the oven the meat to the evening the whole family can enjoy a tasty dinner, and note that you have to help her very much hope that, most likely, a daughter fulfill your request.

Thus, it will have serious matter, and because of the word "please" and polite to your request, it will not be her duty, and her choice.

At work and in life

If the workshop manual chastises department, it is usually subordinate or are silent and suffer the criticism, or begin to make excuses and argue.

Try instead of excuses to say something like this: "Mr. Smith, thank you very much for your honest and objective view from outside. Your opinion is very important to me and I certainly I will consider the comments and will correct all defects. "

Another magical property of the word "thank you" - a soft response to the denial. Let's say you really do not like to deny the people and say "no" to you is akin to torture. Replace the word "no" to the "thank you".

For example, at the request of a friend borrow your favorite dress instead of a hard "no" can say "thank you for what you appreciate my taste in clothes, but unfortunately it is this thing I treasure and I can not even give it to you."

Keep in mind that very few people can answer a polite thank you boorishness. And uttered "thank you" after the improper behavior or statements companion makes him feel guilty.

Even in our world, where many feel constant stress and are ready to break to the first comer, banal politeness works wonders.

Do you agree that the "magic words" - an important part of interpersonal communication? Would you like to have these words sounded more often?

Do you think that now these words too neglected? We discuss in the comments to the article!

The formula of family happiness

In the formula of family happiness a lot of terms ... It is both simple and complicated .... But try to find a solution it is necessary - in the science of life, it is probably the most important thing! If you try to find something common to all

happy couples, it can not do without such concepts as trust, sense of responsibility, a sense of close connection, the general "we." Ask two people who love what they feel in a marriage, and those most likely to say that simply do not live vrozn.

Perhaps the couple will not be able to determine exactly why they were good together. The world of human relationship is so complex and so rich in nuances! And yet some of the secrets of marital happiness can be formulated.

1. How to live without love ?!

The main and the main condition for a lasting marriage, its foundation - the feeling of love, attraction to each other. Of course, in the affluent families are quarreling over the division of household duties, parenting and relationships with parents. But this husband and wife always feel that, despite the temporary differences, they love and appreciate each other.

Of course there are exceptions, when only one of the spouses that bears the "cementing" marriage is love. But then it must be so strong that could compensate for the lack of such feelings in the other half. And often it is a profound sense of time is able to cause an equally strong response in the soul of less generous emotions mate.

Many spouses complaining about the dysfunctional married life, forget or want to forget, deceiving themselves that have never experienced love for each other, creating a family on the basis of some other considerations. Well, they too can live life under the same roof, educate their children and grandchildren, but to be happy while they are unlikely to succeed.

2. You and dear to me so

If you use the terminology of the exact sciences, the love - a necessary condition, but still insufficient for a happy family life. Alas, there are many examples where the couple initially associated with deep feelings, as a result either costs or continued existence of habit.

What is the reason? And what's the secret of family happiness? Here's one of them: the ability to take a loved one for what it is - with advantages and disadvantages. Do not try to alter each other - it does not add joy to anyone. Especially that the disadvantages - a relative thing.

And do not be guided in their evaluations on the opinions of others. In cases of family better to trust only himself and his own half. Happy couples just distinguished by the ability to refute the generally accepted canons.

3. Trust is not checked

One of the important conditions for a happy marriage - openness and trust in the relationship. This does not mean that you must complete insight into the thoughts and feelings for each other - their "islands" must remain in the soul of everyone.

But between loved ones should not fear to confess intimate, fear of being misunderstood. Confidence that you can put the wife or husband all that you care, and you will hear nothing else, strengthens the relationship.

Openness also suggests the possibility and the ability to freely express their feelings. In addition, the happy couple just trust each other, not tormented by suspicions that they betray a difficult situation.

4. Together cheerfully to walk and think

"Madness" of the first months gradually subside, and you begin to return to normal life, with its problems and concerns. It's time to venture for a joint business - to realize the dream about the design of the apartment or something to cook for dinner together.

The main thing - to get pleasure from the communication. In the end, "the number of" family happiness depends on how interested you together. It's not just something to do together, and make decisions together.

This is, firstly, helps avoid errors, and secondly - allows you to share the responsibility, if something is still wrong. The happy marriage, husband and wife will not shift the blame on each other, and try together to cope with adversity.

The above does not preclude the need for each partner in a marriage have personal space. They are really together, but none of them fully absorbed by another, does not interfere to preserve their "I".

5. Balance you do not need

As a rule, the wife spends more time and energy for a household and raising children than their husbands. Yet it is not necessary to consider how many times you wash the dishes today, and to reproach her husband. This applies not only to home affairs but also professional success.

Loving spouses do not compete with each other and find out who is more successful. Everyone enjoys the success of others, is ready to support and give advice. In a happy marriage is a constant spiritual enrichment.

6. Ware beat worthless!

The quarrels and disagreements happen in any family. However, the quarrel quarrel discord. If two start throwing at each other, not only insulting words, but the fact that his arm will fall, you can almost certainly say that silver wedding they will not.

In a strong marriage partners are able to constructively resolve conflict. They subconsciously feel, when to stop, do not allow yourself to stoop to insults. It helps in family quarrels sense of humor.

When two people lose the ability to laugh together, to translate a joke is about the looming conflict - is a signal that their relationship has gone from something important. Now, however, loved hurt you. ... Learn to forgive. Happy are those who have this ability.