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Our friends safely in all respects, the pair finally brought the child. It would cheer. However, appearing on shows, we found a happy young parents sitting in different corners, c sour-faced, apparently after a good quarrel.
The baby was fine, we gave him gifts, and made "gulenki" and then do brawlers. And what do we hear?
Old songs about the main thing.
Wife: "It does not help me! Come home from work, dinner - and the computer. For the kid once again will not work, and if you get up to it, and at night, with a countenance that it is better to be asleep."
Husband: "It threw me at all, only chic but hisses. I went over to his son, so she told me once:" Have you washed your hands? And you've got something wrong, it's wrong, and hands do not grow out of the place. "
I feel somehow superfluous ... "Oh, how it was familiar ... We, too, at one time it took - and somehow survived in the new situation. And now willing to honestly tell others what actually want one another man and woman, when they have a child is born. To begin with, we say that, when that happens, everything changes.
What does a man?
Simon: The young father explained everything that he is infinitely all shall: be happy, to please the expectant mother, to dissolve in the family. And how healthy male selfishness, without which man is not a man? And he simply has no place in this world of stereotypes. Of course, the man in marriage is to ensure the continuation of a sort. But not to the detriment of themselves (by the way, for women it is also true).
But in fact that comes out? When bringing home a baby, the woman in it is dissolved, and man ... is like a side. All understandable, but it is insulting. And I have to wait to have sex, and to the left - is immoral. It does not condemn society as well as conscience zagryzet. And the joy of fatherhood is poured only in disturbed sleep by whimpering and tremors in the side.
I do not know how the others, but I began to perceive the child not only as an additional burden only after two years. Before - this is just an object, on which all the shaking. But you also need to bring into the house of a mammoth that with sleepless nights not fit. In short, get one big disappointment. With the arrival of a baby in the house begins a hard thing for a guy: the redivision of the territory. This raises the question of power ...
Young father risks losing credibility rests. Baby - center of the universe, the mother - with him, and my father ... so dumb creature in the mother of the child from the category of "Come-hither-fetch". And it's a disaster! In any system, and the family is no exception, should be the center of power, otherwise the system will collapse.
The head of the family - does not mean "tyrant." This is the person to make decisions and take responsibility for them. Women need to understand that. In general, they need to understand that men do not have the hormones responsible for his father's feelings. What mothers - joy for fathers - heavy duty, and that's it.
And what does a woman want?
Marina: So be yourself, please head of the family, but do not forget that the mother of your child needs help. And that woman is worn like a wound, a man concerned about the retention of the commanding heights. This kind of children's position.
When I was pregnant, there was so much joy and pleasant conversations. And my husband belly pat, and fruit will, and listen. And after birth, that's it then, when I, weak and frightened, had his shoulder, it has become some kind of detached. Yes, doing so, it involved, but somehow ... through force or something.
Yes, I, too, was a big disappointment. But as I needed help! And not only active, but also emotionally, so sorry patted on the head, when the alarming fall into inadequate.
Another embarrassing moment. Becoming a mother, I remove her I's, on the second place: first the child's needs and whims. But I, too, want to be pampered me. That is, not only do what I ask, and that the husband he looked around at how to help, where to please - and helped, and made, and pleased.
But ... but it was not this. But the husband wanted a child. Or men want children somehow do not like us? Yes, we women buy into the advertised "family values." We watch TV shows, read magazines that tell us fool the behavior of real loving man.
We believe in these luscious images of happy young daddy! We are starting to hold out his darling of television and magazine models ... and eventually get a mismatch dreams and reality that even kicked out.
The output, however, is (to expel something never too late).
Think of the women's wisdom. Listen to your man, to understand it, something simple, something to teach somewhere to meet. Yes, it is arranged differently, and this device does not always lead us into raptures. But what to do? Patience, Girls, patience and again patience.
Authors: Marina and Simon Yastrebova
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