It seems that just sounded the march by Mendelssohn, everywhere echoed the cries of "Kiss!", And the couple enthusiastically kissing, dissolving into his own happiness, and today ... Today, they are no longer newlyweds, and offended to each other and to the whole world the couple on the brink of divorce.
So, what is this: the banality of everyday routine or the inability and unwillingness to understand and accept each other? Psychologists say that build family relationships - is an art that must be learned, sometimes overstepping themselves and overshadowing his own selfishness.
It must be remembered that family life is not always smooth, that there are both ups and downs. And we must be prepared for difficult times and conflicts that arise in everyday life. The most critical event in the life of a married couple - the birth of a child. This is not only because the "pair" have a place two, but not three.
It still needs to be reconciled with the fact that your partner from the lover became a parent. The old wisdom that having a baby is able to reconcile the poor couple living just a myth. The birth of a child - is the emergence of new family relationships, the revaluation of existing values and permutation of rarities.
Both spouses must not forget that the child - a living embodiment of love, not a "stone of contention." Adultery - the cause of which often leads to divorce.
The circumstances conducive to adultery: familiarity with the person with whom there is mutual understanding, missing in the marriage, joint activities, common interests, the presence of large amounts of free time, and so on. D.
When change is important to find out for myself what pushed you to this, how serious it is and whether or not cheating will cause your divorce.
Oddly enough, two thirds of the conjugal union, in which one partner was looking for or looking for adventure on the side, yet not break. The row is unlikely to lead to divorce.
But the constant, exhausting both partners quarrel may well lead to a rupture. The reason for the quarrel does not affect the duration of the marriage. But in the heat of the moment, you can tell a lot of each other rude insulting words, which subsequently will crack your marriage.
The main thing - not because of what the quarrel, and how to do it. It must also be able to quarrel. How to avoid divorce and save your marriage? Of course, the universal recipe for happiness does not exist.
But still, if you want to extend your honeymoon, listen to some advice:
Be able to restrain himself. In any conflict, there is a line, cross that in any case should not be. Do not make any final judgments and to stir up old grudges. If you had a fight, it does not mean that it's time to leave. Divorce, when they feel they are no longer able to bear the very presence of a loved one before.
Beware of absolute frankness in the relationship, keep some part of his inner world to himself. Familiarity kills love and marriage.
In love, there are periods of accidents. Perhaps a day or even a month you will feel that you no longer love your other half. But it is sometimes enough to go on vacation or go together to visit, where your partner will be a great companion and a wonderful dancer, and you fall in love with him.
Sometimes rest separately, so as not to bother each other. Allow your partner to feel free for a while. This is a small separation would make new emotions and sensations in your union.
Do not count how many times a month do you make love, do not compare with the past. There are times when this is not desirable, and it is also to be taken for granted. You always have to think through their actions a little bit forward and not get hung up on the details and then everything will return.
Your marriage is in your hands
.
Be patient, fill the heart with love and carefully erect fragile walls of your home, your marriage to become a strong and reliable home and not blurred castle in the sand.
Love and friendship after birth
Very often, there is a deterioration of family relations after the birth of the child, because I was setting role of parents. Each of us can be described by a set of social roles that we perform. From a set of social roles drawn sociological portrait,
that is, a set of social roles, we can describe a person. The role of the mother assumes the responsibility for the new man.
The woman was his wife, and now also became a mother. Adjusting to the role, it can not be changed.
With the birth of the child is violated role balance.
Now a woman is much more difficult to play the role of his wife, this is no time, energy or anything.
The man became a father, he has ceased to be the only light in the box for his wife, he is deprived of the role of the child in his family, as it seems.
And here is where the problems begin. The man feels that he is treated as a functional tool for washing diapers, getting money, etc. In addition, women in particular now need emotional support and support.
Too many families are collapsing after birth, from the fact that young parents do not have the patience. The child grows up a little, my mother's hormonal balance normalizes, she finally nap.
And all would return again, if the spouses doterpit up to this point.
There are many different ways to teach a child anything else. But the easiest, easiest and fastest - is the principle of imitation.
If mom and dad say to each other thanks and please the child will do it automatically, as his parents do it.
Moreover, the child copies the style and manner of the family, he is also a life script, and copy your idea of how the family should live, how to create it.
Very often there are family problems in people who grew up in single-parent family. It is much more difficult to create a life scenario, they do not have a model. Ros child with a mother, life, mother-father-child, he simply did not see.
He has some ideas on this subject, but as it comes, day by day, he did not see. No less, and perhaps even greater problems in the creation of families there in those children who grew up with my mother and with the Pope, only when people are living in one housing, but are strangers.
It is even worse, as the child becomes a model of behavior that is not necessary love in the family, good relations, etc. You can live and so.
For example, people realized that they were strangers to each other. Which is better, save for the children or the family still try to find a husband, wife and their halves, to find someone with whom you can live a full life?
If you look as follows for each of us there is this half.
People who continue to live in a marriage where there is no love, no friendship, no understanding, robbing themselves and robbing their child, because the child can not imagine what life in an atmosphere of love and understanding.
Then this child is very difficult to raise a family.
Love comes and goes
Love comes and goes. Young family.
Two foreign person before becoming parents, becoming a family. Do you remember how it all began? It seemed that life without the other is impossible, time spent apart - lost time.
You know each other, talking about himself, forgiving each other major and minor flaws and eccentricities, hoping that with time things will change. After some time, the intensity of feeling passes rather proceeds in a slightly different stage.
This is perfectly normal, because the physiological body is not designed for long-term neuro-psychological burden.
Love at first - a huge emotional outburst. And in a state of emotional outburst such person may be six months, for example, but hardly more than that.
Then the body begins to tire, and then there comes a time when people feel that the love is gone. Not that the left, and it has become commonplace, gray, mortar, broke into a way of life. In fact, love is not gone anywhere. Any relations are developing on a sinusoid: Rush - unearthly love, then recession, some rest.
If the couple find a way to survive this time of emotional recession, though they may be, in addition to everything else, and friends if they do not irritate each other, if they are interesting together if they share a common outlook on life, then love would return.
The period of oscillation of love to rest at each person, but it is estimated around for months. So it turns out that many of the young family was destroyed in the first year of marriage.
It takes the euphoria of the first feeling comes an emotional slump. Since love is gone, why suffer further if we are not going to look for another love? Many people do so. The trouble is that the other love, too, over time, come to their emotional decline.
And it also happens that when passes blinding love, people suddenly discover that they have common interests, different outlook on life: In any case, do not take the time to sever relations, better to see a family counselor, a psychologist, to understand, to what is going on, whether it makes sense and the ability to keep the family together.
Another problem for young families - different lifestyles, which are produced even in families.
Each of us has their own idea about how people behave in the family. For example, can it be considered a newspaper at breakfast? In one family, this is normal, and in the other it is a disrespect to the person sitting next to.
Two people meet and begin to live together, the husband quietly at the breakfast table reading without thinking about what he was doing something wrong. He does the same thing as usual. But his wife said that he did not respect her, despise her, etc.
What is she doing? First it gently to him as indicated, and then quite possibly start a scandal. My husband does not understand what it scream. He begins to think that his wife had a bad temper, she clings to trifles, etc. The entire first year is spent on cross-lapping.
Then start over complicated things. Who gets how much in the morning, who eats for breakfast, where one puts his toothbrush who used to like to spend money, how all this was done in the family, etc., from small things to large things.
The most important thing we have to understand that it is possible for everyone, it is possible somehow. All this is well and fine.
Another thing is that the two people who come from two different models of the family should not try to break your other half under his model, because the occupation is, to put it mildly, useless.
They have to create their common model should simply agree on how they will eat breakfast - a newspaper or not, they will spend the money, they will rest. For some, the rest - it's wallow on the couch, and for some it is a hike.
The main thing is that the young couple must understand - everyone is entitled to their life style, that everything is good and normal.
Normal reading a newspaper at a table and do not read too normal.
They need to create a pattern of behavior that is acceptable to both of them.
