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Now modern families where the spouses is a big difference in age, it is no surprise.
Such examples million - all the time. However, society still remained ambiguous attitude to the "unequal marriage". Someone thinks that misalliance - a hindrance to family happiness, someone suspects a young husband in self-interest,
while others, on the contrary, I believe that all ages can love. What do you think?
HIS MIND
Eugene, 50, a mechanic:
- It does not see any reason for the age difference became an obstacle to family happiness. However, if the difference is not too great. Throughout it should be a measure, or in the future may be difficult.
When people get married, the difference is not too noticeable, but, unfortunately, time goes by, we all grow old, and the difference becomes apparent. Sometimes this leads to sad consequences. My friend older than his wife of 19 years. When they married, she was 20, he 39.
After 10 years, their marriage broke up, but not because they no longer love each other or the wife found herself someone younger. Just at some point, my friend began to think that he was too old, that his wife, he became disgusted. He just got it in my head it began to suspect her of treason, which in fact was not.
Their relationship became strained: all the time quarrel, scandal. They were unable to save his love. So, I think, the difference should not be more than 10 years. - In my opinion, if it exists between spouses age difference, it should be a reasonable difference. Otherwise, the husband and wife are distant people, people of different generations.
See how difficult to find a common language to young people who are more mature. They often do not understand each other: the young accused the elderly in retrograde and conservative, older youth - in the absence of any spirituality and whatever moral values.
The same can occur and the gulf between man and wife of different ages. Still life together - is not only a love and romance, it is also a community of interests. But what about when the plan no link: different music, different films, different literature ...
I am inclined to think that the man should be older women, but not vice versa. The older man, in my opinion, the most loyal and reliable than the same age or younger age.
Andrei, 30 years old, an engineer:
- The age difference is only as good if the husband over the wife, but not vice versa. In men, the love of nature to young girls. Therefore, the family in which the husband is older, initially more successful than married peers. For an adult man young wife will always remain young.
He - 30, she - 20, he - 40 s - only 30. Accordingly, the desire to go to the left in search of a young and beautiful it will occur much less frequently than the man married to his peers. Therefore, a marriage where the wife is older than her husband, is doomed to failure. A young man looking at a mature woman of experience, looseness, knowledge of life.
But it quickly becomes boring. As a result, matured her husband looking at her, albeit a very clever and experienced, but already fading wife begins to reach for the beauty, freshness and naivety of youth. Against the background of which, incidentally, it is also very easy to assert itself. Young girls do not need much: it is able to charm the age, wealth, knowledge of life.
With older women is much more complicated: they are better versed in others, they have higher requirements. Man with a young girl feels the defender and a hero, next to the adult wife he feels like a child. And that no one likes.
Her opinion
Vera, 44, a housewife:
- I do not think that the young man married a woman much older than him, mercenary hunter other people's money. No, most of all, he really loves his chosen. But self-interest is still there. However, it is present at a subconscious level. So I am not a supporter of such marriages.
Experience shows that such a relationship can not survive very long time. Young man choosing to live together adult woman looking in it is not only beloved, but my mother and guardian. This property immature personalities - they are afraid to take on full responsibility for their lives and are willing to share it with the older and more experienced man.
But time flies, and under the wing of a loving woman yesterday chick feathers, learning to fly. It takes the fear, the confidence in their own abilities. At this point, an adult woman, a teacher and a support, is no longer needed. And the former boy-turned-husband leaves her and begins to look for a more suitable, young and beautiful wife.
Alain, 38 years old, the vet:
- I have never encountered such a situation. My husband and peers. But, theoretically, I suppose that is not the difference in age - a hindrance happy marriage, and society's attitude to this difference. When the young man marries a woman much older than him, surrounding begin to suspect that his conduct is dictated not by love but rather a self-interest and calculation.
Just apply to a girl who marries an adult. Around the pair begin gossip, gossip. There will always be envious and evil tongues, ready to wash their bones. At this point, two people very hard to abstract from what is happening around. Willy-nilly, they are drawn into it tedding dirty laundry.
The burden of negative attitudes frequently becomes too heavy, and the marriage breaks up. Only people who really and truly love each other strongly, capable of withstanding such a test.
Alexander, 28, secretary:
- The boys grow and develop more slowly than girls, it is proved by science. Girl 20 years biologically older than their peers. It is more developed, serious, smart. To be friends with their peers - and great fun. Meet - is uninteresting. What I can tell you the new and taught the boy, whose head alone is nonsense.
He had not yet emerged as a man, did not take place as a person. Naturally, I will choose a more mature person. My husband and I have a difference at the age of 6 years. When we met, he was very favorably by my fellow peers. His erudition, his knowledge of life, a strong moral stance, security, finally.
At that time we all learned and were interrupted by a scholarship grant. And it worked. In general, I fell in love with it immediately. I am sure that the age was not the last, and perhaps even the main factor that attracted me to my husband.
OPINION OF STARS
Vladimir Kuzmin, the singer:
- My wife Katia younger than me by more than 20 years. I'm sure many do think that it is a benefit to marry me. Other skeptics, grinning, says: "Well, well, Kuzmin, and the passion popylaet extinguished. What then? ". Never mind.
The important thing is that actually happening in my life. And to prove that I'm not going to. When I decided to get married, do it intelligently. And he knew there would be many people who will treat it with hostility and mistrust.
Laura Quint, composer:
- We Andrei (Andrei Bill, teacher and singer, husband of Laura. - Ed.) Is not too big age difference, I'm older than he is only 5 years old. But, when I got married, it seemed to me monstrous. I'm embarrassed to madness. In addition, the surrounding gave me all the reasons to feel insecure.
When we met, I was already a famous composer, but he is very talented, but novice singer. People said: "He decided to marry you to get the repertoire for free." I replied that I would go for it for the sake of a Moscow registration. I am from Leningrad. I must say that we then very cool supported Pugacheva.
When Andrew was speaking at one of the concerts, backstage was Alla, she then said, "How do I like your: Direct singing Dustin Hoffman! Nobody will listen, all send. You are a wonderful couple and will live together for many, many years. " And so it happened.
INTERESTING
A man connected his life with a woman much older, particularly in the suspect immaturity, lack of independence, the desire to hide behind a mature and socially adapted wife, and often simply in the material self-interest. Such suspicions - until recently - and shared everything psychotherapists.
The authoritative American specialist Otto Kernberg for twenty years relentlessly repeated and persuasively argued that the love of an older woman - an absolute indication for long-term analytical psychotherapy. Young men entered into such alliances, he found a lot of psychological and often sexual problems.
And yet, in spite of the negative attitude towards them, the number of marriages in which the wife's age at 10 or more years of age more than her lover, is growing every year.
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