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Marry fools. Smart marry. I had to hear this? All of us, men in particular, are too appreciate their independence, but even it can become a burden. And when that happens, I could not help think about marriage. So why do some love, and marry the other?
In order to look into the matter thoroughly, I propose to take to the female point of view. So, why and for what men love women and what motivates them, when there is a desire to tie the knot Hymen with a fine half.
Unfortunately or fortunately, not all marriages are being accomplished in heaven. Today, as it is not sad, marrying for love - it is almost as rare as a cloven-hoofed animals and endangered species listed in the Red Book.
According to statistics, only 10 of the 100 marriages concluded at large and bright love. Modern youth even joked about it: "Marriage is not a lottery. In a lottery you have a chance ... "
Marriage is becoming an endangered species relations. More than half of couples prefer the so-called free relationship (civil marriage) or «free love». The latter is a kind of an eastern type of marital relations - t. E one man can be a 2nd and more women, and one woman and 2 or more men.
Frilaverstvo we have inherited from the generation of "hippies". Now, more and more often you can hear: "I love you! I will love you in sorrow and in joy to the wedding! "- Or -" Not every life ends in death; sometimes it ends with the wedding. " Neveselenkaya perspective, agree?
And yet the man to marry. So what makes them tick, what makes consciously to make such sacrifices ??? Try to understand; why men love one, marry others.
Reason 1. Marry a beautiful, smart and rich ...
Remember the aphorism: "If you want to marry a smart, beautiful and rich - you have to get married three times." Indeed, the choice of taking up future wife, a man initially determined for a number of criteria, which it must comply. Often it turns out that the one to which he nourishes tender feelings, do not know how to bake cakes according to an old recipe of my mother's and not even close to the image corresponds to the ideal wife.
Only one way out - to marry Masha Ivanova that she baked cakes and looked after my mother's geraniums, and love can be anyone. Faced with this kind of situation, I always remember the words of my mother's friend. Once, before the wedding, a friend confessed she does not like her future husband. "Nothing," - my mother said, - "I love Invar Kalninysha and live with your dad ... and nothing ...". Yes, and so, too, sometimes.
Cause 2. So, too, is ...
The same situation is with the selection criteria for future spouses can turn a tragedy for the man also by the fact that his ideal finds its reflection in it. On this score there, the old wise parable of the two ideals. One man in his youth decided that would marry only the girl that will fit his idea of the ideal.
He traveled all the neighboring villages, and nothing even remotely similar to what I was looking, I found none. Then he decided that he embark on a journey across the white light in search of their dreams. Friends and relatives tried to dissuade him, but he was not listening, embark on a long journey. 10 years spent wandering young man, seen a lot, experienced a lot, but the ideal woman and did not find for themselves. What was it? Go and live the rest of life ... Bobylev
On the way to their homes he met a girl of unprecedented beauty. Conversation with her, he realized that he had found what was looking for so many years. The man told her of his wanderings, admitted that he was looking for all my life it was her and proposed to her. She smiled and said, "You were looking for his ideal for hundreds of miles from here, and I found her very close, I'm sorry, but I already have a husband and I love him more than anyone else."
If you are lucky enough to find your ideal, it does not mean that you are also ideal for this person. Everyone has their own ideal. Returning to the subject, we can and must say that this kind of encounter with the discrepancies often compels men to desperate acts. For example, a marriage with an unloved woman. In this case, I like to give advice desperate martyrs: "Choosing a bride stupid! The main thing - to choose the wife's mother! "
3. The reason for the second time on the calculation ...
I think many readers familiar with the phrase: "First time marry for love, the second calculation, the third of habit." I'm much more interested in the second time. In these financially uncertain times, when oil prices are rising and America is carefully selected to the East, men badly needed confidence in the future. Speaking of marriages of convenience, I do not mean just the financial side. Take the above.
The calculation comes to power, career, social status, fame, and the rest to his wife accompanying privileges. When talking about all of the above, a rare man can not resist the temptation, even if it is held or future spouse terrible old marazmatichka with false teeth and detachable feet.
For clarity, I give an example of one of the best novels of Guy de Maupassant "Dear Friend." Just read it and you will get a very definite opinion on what payment method is the gray males. There are those who enter into a marriage of convenience in order to ensure that the woman he loves all that she deserves. Before them, I take my hat off. Love can justify almost anything ...
Reason 4. Married live longer ...
A friend of mine liked to say: "It is not true that married men live longer. It seems they only "- until he got married. Marriage - is to some extent the prevailing stereotype and entrenched in our minds. How would strenuously Western culture one of us was not uprooted, he still sits deep.
And there is nothing unnatural in the fact that the normal average man wants to have a family, he wants to nail nails into the hallway with his son and eat dumplings on Sundays. In reality, it is a quiet happiness to many only dream of. Why is that?
In my youth we chasing chimeras in adulthood long and carefully eyeing avoid mistakes and in the end no matter what and do not dare, and when we look back on relatives and friends who got 'nest and chicks "is starting to be customized. In the lexicon of an unpleasant word "must" of the long-forgotten pioneer childhood.
Relatives and friends hurt sting greasy jokes on this subject, and thus quietly press on and so shattered psyche. And sadly, this is crowned by a well-known scenario of the wedding with the first woman came to hand. None of what love and can not speak.
The only pity is that the forgotten words of the song A. Pugacheva:
It would be necessary, it would be necessary, it would be necessary,
It must be love,
But I can not, can not, can not,
I can not and do not want ...
Even kids today know that to create a full-fledged unit of society "must" too little. We need much more than ...
5. Marriage - a solid marriage? And other reasons.
The reasons for marriage without love myriad. This unexpected pregnancy girlfriend, which was about to leave, and the desire to change the rhythm of life (when everything bothered should try something else), and the desire to be loved, not loving yourself and the fear of loneliness, old age, helplessness, and a lot more then.
Such marriages are doomed to failure. Such a marriage - marriage is solid, except for the result (the children). The reasons are many - many consequences.
It is sad to realize that today's reality dictates its own rules, and men more often agree to play for them in life, giving up the most important thing - love.
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