It's time to get married ...

Tomorrow I'm getting married.

It is just lovely. Finally fulfilled my dream.

It will give me a rare car. Even scary to think how much it costs. We will live in his two-bedroom apartment in the city center with renovated, which you can only dream of.

Sometimes it seems to me that all this does not happen to me.

My future husband, though not very pretty. A little taller than me, even though I did not quite live up to sixty meters, and has a little paunch. But it is not terrible. But he loves me madly, he intelligent, purposeful, successful and he has his own firm for the sale of cars.

***

Today, the first time I thought seriously about his life.

I was twenty-eight. I work as an accountant in a conventional company. Salary so-so, and I would not say that the work brings me great pleasure. I was eleven years old I live in the capital, and during that time had to endure a lot. Inhabited almost all areas of Kiev, usually cheap apartment, where the kitchen could hardly fit two.

At first it was very hard to bear, and then accustomed and resigned. I often changed the guys were mostly cute kid, who after three days becomes annoying.

About twenty-five to realize that so can not continue, and the beginning of a week in the super-expensive restaurant for dinner, which I left a third of the salary.

At first, I felt like an idiot out there, it seemed to me that all they look at me. Carefully prepared for this small release of a even funny to remember now. That's how we met. I tried to sleep but could not. I had not thought about it, thought it was all wiped from memory. I do not know where to start. I'll try.

***

On that day, a heavy rain poured down and the wind was throwing yellow leaves on wet asphalt. I loved this weather. At heart all flipped. I was stupid with pink umbrella, which constantly flied to the top of the softly slapping her bare feet on the cold pools. The skirt stuck to the body and hands were shaking.

I walked away from him. It was a regular meeting at which I was returning late at night. He was older than nine years. He lived alone because her mother died when he was still young, and his father married and stoked his worthless life vodka. And his son was stupid repeating the same mistakes. Now I understand that he was so happy about it.

He always wore a ridiculous kengurushki deer in the same jeans he always smelled a la Soviet toilet water. But for me the smell was the most expensive, I agree it was a clock to breathe. And missed him, suffering at night. Every time I saw him, my soul escapes from the body.

I'm not even trying to understand what it was. I would like to repeat every second it is the same word - "love." I was drowning in his cunning, his brown eyes. And the clock could listen to all this nonsense.

He lived in an old shack, otherwise just will not name. The room had two iron beds and a wardrobe with a mirror surface on one door. It smelled of old house. Looks like he got him by inheritance from her grandmother.

But I raced there every time as if it was waiting for me a million dollars. I hide the relationship from everyone. But my baby's face has always betrayed me. Stupid smile in the morning speaks for itself. I dreamed as become his wife, and it appears to be like one of our children.

I cried every night of unbearable pain and joy, emotions overflow. Almost always he carried on drinking and cigarettes. He had no job, no friends, no desire to change something in their lives. My family was also far from ideal, but I always knew that leave this backwater.

Not to say that was an excellent or distinguished by some outstanding talents. Just had the confidence that everything is still ahead. This says to me my subconscious. I remember the gray evening, filled only with my illusions and feelings. I was only fifteen ...

***

It is five in the morning, even the eye could not sleep, you just need to throw this laptop. My wedding dress simply divine. For some reason, I wanted it to be necessarily green. My future husband could not refuse me a little whim.

I know exactly what I liked. I understand it the first day we met. That's what a lifetime is not enough - confidence in the future, a strong man's shoulder, reliability.

It takes all my desires, like a fairy tale.

Only in it something is missing. And even know what - a mad rhythm of the heart, the rain and wind, the huge puddles of tears and laughter, pain and joy, smiles ridiculous in the morning.

Well, it's time to gather ... Morning ...

Citizen roommate! Is not it time for us to the registrar?

The best way to keep love men - not to marry him. Catherine Deneuve

"Fairy Tale - a lie, so it hint." And in fact, in all the grotesque folk art: the beauty is sure to hand-written, the characters - always fools, though resourceful.

And the princes of a match: all with their own kingdom and on white horses. And the best fairy tales - this is the end. Because all the stories end the same way - the wedding, "a feast for the whole world." Today, however, do not enjoy the wedding ceremony onetime honor, and more - what is popularly called a civil marriage. To start us be clear, in order to avoid further misunderstandings.

Civil marriage (in our understanding), from a legal point of view, the so-called - it is not quite true. Civil marriage - a fortune in legal respects, drawn up in the registry office (hence - civil registration). More precisely, such an open relationship between M and M should be called "cohabitation".

But we will not fundamentally change the wording and will use the traditional definition. So ...

In a civil marriage has many ardent supporters and opponents no less fundamental. It happens that the difference of opinion on this important issue provokes even rupture of relations: for example, he wants to give her his name and wear a ring on your finger, and she just said that was not ready, do not want and will not register the relationship.

Or vice versa. Let's say she "really married unbearable", and he was genuinely puzzled, "why do we need this stamp in the passport, and because we are so fond of each other? ".

On the advantages and disadvantages of cohabitation written and said a lot - to make enough to enter into a search engine combination of "civil marriage". What can be proud of cohabitants in a civil union?

Arguments "for"

We will check your feelings, and "try on" the role of husband and wife.

We actually (and officially) remain free.

We live by the principle "No one owes nothing to."

We respect each other's independence, love does not perceive as a post, a duty or "bytovuhu." A favorite never gets entourage, like a gas stove, cabinet or bed.

We do not need to arrange luxury (and beating on the budget) wedding feasts. We do not have to rush to the document: change the name, passport and all relevant documents, residence.

Our child (hypothetical) can easily leave the country with his mother (his father in wedlock would have to fill out a bunch of documents).

Plus free relations - mass minuses - not so much. At least at first glance.

1. Legal insecurity - the main and sometimes decisive minus cohabitation of two people. Civil marriage is beneficial to a woman only if she earns well and has a separate living space. In this case, all marital property (including purchased during the period of cohabitation apartment, car) will belong to her, that is, the person on whom it is written.

When status in the event of divorce, all jointly acquired divided exactly in half. Because often a man with a fairly good wage in no hurry to make out relations knowing about the legal underpinnings of the marriage. If the former common-law wife wants to sue the living space or other property, it did not shine (have to collect all kinds of evidence, such as the remaining checks, total current account, or a child in common ...).

Yes paternity prove oh how difficult, which means that a child born in such a union, will have no legal father. And, accordingly, the alimony. On the other hand, it is not always and not for all the important relationships in a subsequent section of the property.

Therefore, if you are not an end in itself "after seven skins" to elect or to be his official heir, the first lack of civil marriage you never touch. Besides, when it comes to inheritance, there is always the opportunity to write a will and make your roommate or concubine rightful heir.

2. There is an interesting statistic: the question of marital status, most women who are cohabiting, answer "married", but the majority of men - "not married". Very often, a woman believes that her life is closely connected with the life of a roommate, keeps him faithful and perceives as her husband.

A man is confident that he is free, at any time can go to bed with another, or completely leave without explanation. Obligations do not, freedom! Hence the second "trick" of unregistered relationship - instability. A woman without a stamp in the passport and the ring on her finger can not be completely sure that it is not cute umchitsya tomorrow to another. "Today he's here, and tomorrow? "

3. Another problem is more ethical: these are the most common children. According to statistics, children who were born in a civil marriage, often born prematurely and weak. Psychologists say that this is due to greater stress load on a woman during pregnancy.

Even with the strongest relationship expectant mother often wonders what being a single mother, if the child's father suddenly decides to disappear from the horizon.

Civil marriage - the ideal choice when very young decide to just check their relationship joint farming. This is a good way to find out, on the shoulder if you wash his socks, and who in the end will do the dishes. This is always the possibility of a separate, unencumbered by formalities.

If unregistered relationships last for years, and the wedding is not expected? It's not very good at it: you are constantly in a state of instability and do not know what the outcome of such an "experiment." Suddenly you are parted - but from the former "marriage" will be only cosmetic, food processor and thought "Who I spent my youth ?! "

In any case - the choice is yours. Most often applied to men, we ask questions in a series of "like - not like", "spit - The Kiss", "change - or not." Another common variation - "married or not."

How do I know your man is ready for marriage?

1. He is in love to madness (jealous, calling five times a day, gives gifts and so forth.);

2. He agrees to meet with no resistance to your parents. Or does it on his own initiative;

3. Most of his friends are already married and not divorced;

4. He earns a good idea, and has its own housing (or has neither one nor the other, but all of this is you);

5. He has already had several long novels ended your appearance;

6. He does not say: "What Petka / VA / Kohl - a fool, just got married."

7. His parents have long hinted at the fact that "it is time to granddaughter";

8. He loves children and animals;

9. He was already a spouse, compared to where you are - just an angel from heaven;

10. He lives with his parents and finally tired of their society;

11. He was not sure of your feelings and fears that you can go to another that his only chance - to make you an offer;

12. Are you crazy like his mother;

13. He was in a crisis situation, and decided to change his life for the better;

14. It is definitely not a womanizer, likes to speculate about future plans, which is sure to have you.

Author: Xenia Uglanova