8 male mysteries. Part 1

If you know them - do you know about men are!

This memoir lead (men) marriage heading in the newspaper that more than a decade in hiding under the pseudonym "Nastenka asphalt".

MYSTERY MEN-1

FIRST LOVE TO THE ARMY

... What is man's love to 20 years? As written in the hearts of my letter to a young man: "... I'm almost a man, but I do not know - where to put all this. And on the street past me flow are nice girls and young women are delicious, and I just undress with their eyes, and like a dog swallow saliva.

I can scarcely stand, but I still have no one likes. Can I go into the army, and a virgin. Yes, I'm ready for the last of his money to buy a sex shop rubber aunt, and then tear off her arms and legs - let me take it over in the special forces. "

The guy to the army is going through a difficult struggle with his own virginity. Each girl first specifically addressed to "give - will not give", and when she suddenly his smile, the smile that disarmed the guy immediately falls in love with her on the ears. And he will not stand up fast - she was his queen, for which we must first take care of the whole year.

Of course, the present form of the modern courtship queens differ from medieval standards. Who made queens are long with the Kings in the stairwell, laugh over empty tales of dead and drink beer.

But the point is, fortunately, remains the same - it is for him and he for her - even more. So they are in the dark driveway, similar to drug addicts and homeless. Sometimes, of course, in this age of boyish real Don Juan, but very rarely - male grip yet. And what erotic adventures tell the guys to 20 years? Basically, they are lying, as seals!

As you listen to these sexual adventures of a young kid, so just imagine that around the whole kilometer of scorched earth - so it all got their sex. Usually they pour that in summer camp they seduced young teacher, and in school they made love with horny teacher.

Sexiest - a teacher of chemistry and English, and the most modest - Russian language and literature. And here is the exact statistics: Army to every guy is going through from 5 to 50 loves, and engaged in sexual relations with 0-3 girls. But they lie, that fell in love 0-1 times, and slept 5-100 times.

Well, of course, this includes 2-3 hundred teachers and a dozen educators. If I was asked today council once all the boys up to 20 years, then I would advise all of them in one sentence: it would be better until you once again my mother kissed on the cheek, and these girls have to be so after the army - though ladle eat them!

MYSTERY MEN-2

Broken loose

... Let's try to understand what the soldier feels, has just returned home. What is sexually hungry soldiers now everyone knows. He is willing to make love with everything that moves and responds. This is a severe test for every man, luckily lasts only two years. That is why preparation for demobilization begins almost a year.

Soldier dress uniform sutured, stitched and decorated. Everything glitters and shimmers - it's necessary, because the hungry males always dress up in the most vivid clothes. Demobilization should look so that each passing by the girl immediately wanted to know what he had hidden under tightly covered with cloth, and a palisade of military badges.

Unfortunately, in recent years, it does not help, as several fallen prestige of the army and even the occasional wait for their guys girls embarrassed to go through the streets with discharged martinet. Time after the army begin to measure the amount of vodka and girls of certain behavior.

As one friend asks the other: You have long returned from the army? And the man answers: - Yes box and a half ago. Returning soldiers whole platoons write a wedding column. It is better to declare it finds a decent girl, than binge drinking will make the child any simple, easy, and more will be forced to marry her.

And no patience because there is, I want all at once, every night without interruption. Once even tucked girl soldiers to retell stories. Glass, another glass, a cucumber or something soft and elastic again her lips and tantalizing two-day fume. Usually the first two months after the army the young man manages to sleep with girls 3-15, that is, not every day is new.

Every fifth then something treats. A time to marry only one in seven. During this period, a large spree, unfortunately, the guys made up a misconception about girls - all, they say, they are. It is not - then they will get acquainted with the good. Can the true love in this period dembelskogo rabies? Yes, it is, of course, always possible.

But if the usual time for the emergence of love should be something special, then in the first year after the army nothing is required. It is only necessary to make it inoffensive response to attempts dating, smiled a lot, given not earlier than three days and no later than five, a little look at the guy opened his mouth, listened to everything he told her navret, well, once wept on his chest. For this he is ready to marry anyone.

By the way, these are some tricky little girls and are even often hide their pregnancy from another and shift parental responsibility to the rustic guys. If I was asked today council once all the boys 20-22 years old, I would advise them all the same thing: there is already a popular expression as "to walk after the army."

I can only add that real men do not sleep with every other girl and sleeping with every twentieth. But it is necessary that this twentieth of you is gone. To do this, and there is a folk art form, as a soldier stories.

Tell her how you crawled in the minefield of intelligence as one of his broad chest while covered by an armor-piercing projectile three commanders and their bare hands shot down five enemy tanks, and they wanted to knock out the sixth, but the authorities did not permit ... ". During this normal she will give you more than a platoon random girls. Believe me, I have these tanks in Afghanistan shot down no less than two thousand, it seems, even a plane filled up in Angola.