Marry rich. Part 3

Lack of attention - one of the main complaints which come to a psychologist wives of rich Russian men. The husband takes no part in the family. On offer to communicate, read your child a story at night, he said he was tired, earning money, which

it enjoys, so there's nothing to complain. He bribes from their families.

When my wife gets much over whether what it unhappy and lonely, he bought her a fur coat fifth - and she shuts up.

Men more than women, tend to solve personal problems with money. And he is convinced that so can and should do - because at the time his wife bought into the first coat!

Generally, if the husband works all the time and constantly refers to the employment, then it theoretically is not yet ready to have a family, regardless of whether it 25 years or 50. It is childish, it is the period of capital accumulation.

For an adult, mature men work should not harm the family, and contribute to it. Incidentally, according to psychoanalytic theory, making money - a kind of phobia. A person has a set of necessities of life: eat, breathe, sleep and so on.

And when some of them begins to grow, it is often associated with a certain fear. For example, a man who lived in a communal apartment, and bought themselves independent living, will always be afraid to return to the communal and will seek to buy a house.

Many people stop and therefore can not - too many have accumulated fears, pushing to improve the quality of life. Especially for Russian men who have money have appeared yesterday and the day before were just complexes.

And that complexes make them earn money, which enable them to partly solve its internal problems.

***

... Natalia S. stayed married 18 years. Male Anton - a former classmate, working together ordinary Soviet engineers. In 1988, Anton is not without pressure from Natalia S. decided to throw dead-end job and open society.

Within a year, he said that a normal man can not allow his wife for a lousy 140 rubles to persist from 9 to 6 on the job. She gladly took home, children and the moral support of each new step, Anton.

For 10 years, he became a successful businessman. He came all the things 88-year dream was impossible. Including the new wife.

Long lost skills Natalia S. with two teenage children had abandoned the old noble 2-bedroom apartment.

Anton himself living in the Arbat district of taking a young wife and a baby half-floor. Alimony paid by reference to the salary of 800 rubles.

Marry rich. Part 4

Ideally, if the people have gone through a lot together and achieved something, and together they deserve a wonderful life, a beautiful and rich. But in practice, men have a problem: after reaching the heights of every faithful wife begins to be associated with his old life,

What is it, and think nasty. It changes the furniture, an apartment and a wife. So first a psychologist appears a woman who complains that she put on his life, made a man of him, and he threw it meanly.

And then there is a couple: he is bald, fat and old, it is - pretty standard with feet. They complain about their problems, including sexual. Why do not they live together!

"Legally, - says Labkovsky - if the wife is a housewife and raised the children, she gave her husband the opportunity to earn money.

And so it has the equal right to all shares, securities, income from the company and half of the firm. But I have been doing such things for 15 years and I can hardly remember even a few women who could, of course, with the help of lawyers to play anything from their husbands.

This is despite the fact that we were millionaires who legalize their money, join the club of millionaires - is in Moscow this.

I came once to my ex-wife of a member of this club. He pays her monthly child support - $ 200. And more out of him, she could not. "

There are, of course, and less tragic cases of communication with wealthy men.

19-year-old Elena, a student at VGIK, more than a year living with a famous filmmaker, not poor small. Goes with him everywhere, every night having dinner in the restaurant, dressed in the most fashionable boutiques of Paris and Milan - and did not suffer. There is, however, one difference - she was not married to him. Although very much wants.

In this regard, this is what it can be advised.

Firstly, the future fate of her family does not depend on money. The decisive role played by the parent installation.

If a man had a normal family in which the parents with their children and with each other had a good relationship where love each other and care about each other, to a certain age, he begins to think about how to make the same family.

It runs parallel to marry, have children from him ... And those who have had problems with family, privacy compensate production and making money.

Secondly, it is necessary to be financially free, otherwise there is likely to get one hundred percent not only in money but also in psychological dependence. It is necessary to get an education and make a career - so that was enough for life. Otherwise, from your rich husband you get content in exchange for a certain lifestyle.

Third, the post-war era when men did not have to get married, and after 25 years it was practically impossible, in our country was a stereotype: the earlier to grab a husband, the better. It is not so long ago!

And finally.

Initially, family relationships should be built as equals. It is necessary to establish a system of values ​​and stick to it.

And though it may sound pathetic, it can never be sold - even if you give a million roses price of one million dollars and a million, this is clearly not the only one.

A marriage of convenience or out of love?

Remember dialogue from the movie "The most charming and attractive"?

"Did you get married for love or by calculation? "-" I always do everything only for the calculation. " - "Calculation in such a case? No, only love! "

The heroine Larissa Udovichenko, had declared per married, once aroused, even hostility. Today, her words are perceived differently: psychologists believe that this settlement strengthens the union of two people.

In the passion not last long

Why marriages that seemed to be committed for love, are short-lived?

The answer is simple: the point is that for the love we often take very different feelings. And when these feelings go, man and woman become strangers to each other. For example, often we call love ...

Passion

As a rule, implicated in this fleeting marriages - go to the registry office within a week after they met. Conflicts in such families do not dare, and "treated" sex. Relations between spouses are built on it, and when the passion cools down, the couple breaks up.

However, if the partner has appeared an interesting person and the husband and wife have a common cause, that such a marriage will last for some time yet. When the couple - cultural and educated people, a divorce takes place quietly and painlessly.

But this is not always as much passion inherent in the people of emotional type, which all make fervently - and love each other and fight.

Marriage Love

And if love does not turn into love, the union will be unhappy. The couple do not want to change anything, apologetically saying, where you can find better, and children grow up ... Hold on a pair of such common tasks - such as buying a car or education of children.

The couple do not like and tolerate each other as husband and wife, there are only conditionally. Conflicts are not resolved, and relegated the principle of "best avoided", "do not wake dashing." Love marriages break up, as soon as one of the spouses meets another man.

About love, as a rule, we can say, if the aisle are the man and woman of mature age. But such marriages little. The couple in this case, the real world is seen, and they live by the principle: do as he wants a partner, because I love him and want to see happy.

Conflicts are resolved constructively - husband and wife, it is important to deal with the problem, and not come out the winner. By the way, if a person really loves another, the question of marriage - this is pure calculation of the preservation of feelings and individuality of each partner.

For each of the intending spouses it is likely a long time weighing the "pros" and "cons" before making a big decision.

A marriage of more lasting love marriage.

It is precisely because there are calculation, male or female, or seek to change what is not satisfied in a marriage, or to change their attitude to it.

And even if one of the spouses busy career, and because they are rarely seen and even more rarely have sex, they are quite happy and satisfied with the scandals of the fact that they pay little attention to each other.

From calculation to a large sense - one step

The calculation can be different. For example, walking down the aisle, a woman can pursue this goal: "I leave this man in marriage, because it will give me the opportunity to be loved and our children grow up in love."

As a rule, such marriages are the most durable. But this is not the only example of the calculation, there are others: desire for marriage money, fame, status, the desire to leave the country by marrying a foreigner, pregnancy, fear of being alone.

The phrase "marriage of convenience" causes negative emotions, because it involves the manipulation of man. But even in such marriages have a higher sense of place. It can occur in families where spouses are nice to each other; They treat each other with respect; one of the spouses has no desire to take revenge for his marriage to another.

A man and a woman, experiencing mutual sympathy, a great pleasure to play the role of spouse and as a result, longer time to be together. This often leads to the fact that love is born between them. It turns out that the correct calculation to love - one step!

It brings together the general idea, but not the children

• Common interests - one of the recipes for a happy family life. Whether it's kayaking or buying rugs - everything is important, it is interesting to both spouses. Do men or women formed the attitude: "A person infected with the same idea as mine, my pretty."

• But the children do not bring together the spouses - this is an illusion. Moreover, over time, they can become an instrument of manipulation. Quite often you can hear from the man: "Why do they give birth? I did not ask you! "Children who have witnessed such scandals, experienced psychological trauma.

• With regard to money, everything depends on the situation: a woman who marries a wealthy man, it is easier given the role of the second plan, than a man who marries a successful woman. In such families, sooner or later, but the problems begin.

It turns out that the woman "buys" her husband, meaning that he is weaker. This change in roles and attitudes and provokes conflicts.

According to the observations of psychologists, about 60 percent of women aged 28 to 40 years old to marry for money. At the same time a partner interested in their well-being is not first.

First of all, the marriage of women seeking psychological comfort and reliable relations. However, men over 40, reshivshiesya marriage, expect to find in his wife not only sex partner, but also understands the other.