10 What are the main mistakes people make?

All wrong. This is the essence of human nature. We share their mistakes into small (you suddenly notice - ah-ah-ah! - That put the sweater inside out) and large (you realize - oh my! - That the person whom you bestowed their love and trust at all they do not deserve) and relate these to the category of stupid mistakes, if we believe that their brand could easily be foreseen.

But, alas, for some reason, we repeat them again and again.

- Granted, it may seem incredible that it is possible to choose from the hundreds of thousands of blunders and millions of stupid things just ten common mistakes made by people - says MD, of the Center for Cognitive Therapy (studying imagination and associative thinking. - CP.) The University of Pennsylvania Arthur FREEMAN .

- But there are specific error of thinking that create new challenges for us, aggravate and complicate the search for existing solutions. Such errors of thinking leads to misinterpretation of experience, false judgments about other people and incorrect self-assessment.

And if the person who is constantly unlucky finally understand what he is doing wrong, luck is sure to turn to face him.

1 small chicken Syndrome

There is a children's tale. On the small chicken she fell from the walnut tree and knocked on the head. But the chicken is thought that it collapsed the whole firmament. Similarly, people often come to absolutely catastrophic conclusions, without bothering to think even for a moment on the theme "Perhaps I have misunderstood something? ". Funk throws man into a state of emotional and intellectual paralysis.

2. Mind reading

One of the most carefully cherished illusions is that we are confident in his ability to read the thoughts of others, and the ability of others to navigate the tables of our soul. "I do not I will tell him he must guess! "- A very common statement, invariably leads to deep disappointment, when eventually it becomes clear that the man not only knew what he supposedly has to do, but had no idea of ​​what you expect.

3. The tendency to attribute all at his own expense

Many are willing to take personal responsibility for absolutely everything. And they answered and someone's bad mood and bad weather, and an earthquake on the edge of the world. Of course, they have no choice, as angry or upset.

4. Self-confidence is based on blatant flattery of others

Rendering is a holy confidence, supported by flatterers that kind of achievement in any one area automatically guarantee success in all other areas of life without the efforts that were once attached to the first victory.

5. Trust critics

Error opposite the previous one, but the trouble delivers no less. It is without question that you take for granted any criticism, without hesitation: "Who are the judges? "- And generally there is in the nature of your hypothetical Zoilus? (carping critic of Plato, Isocrates and Homer, whose name became a byword for Zoilus spiteful criticism).

6. Maximalism

This means the quality of the pursuit of excellence in all areas. Thesis sounds just great: hardly anyone would argue with the fact that the establishment of high standards - a good thing. But rigor becomes irrelevant when your standards are so high that you can not even come close to their level. So foolish to strive for one hundred percent perfection to eventually get zero results.

7. Painful comparison

Compare and contrast detection - a decent way to analyze the differences. But people often suffer because only pay attention to those who say not in their favor, or when blindly accept on faith negative evaluations of others. This approach is simply discouraging.

8. "What if ..."

Alert! Alert! Alert! That is what is the type of thinking, "What if ...". Are you concerned about something that does not exist, or that the probability is close to zero. Thus, the legitimate concern for the health and well-being are complemented empty troubles, reducing the potential that you could use to confront real challenges.

9. "You have to! " "Must".

Normal, everyday words, but not if it is an order that is not subject to discussion. Otherwise, the most everyday words turns into a pointing finger, categorically demands: "Do not you dare to evade the specified path at least a hundredth of a millimeter, not bitterly regret it! You're going to blame you will be ashamed! "People who are often used in relation to his word" should "are building around them prison walls. They are so focused on what should or should have done in the past that they simply do not have time to think about how it is done now and what they will do in the future.

10. "Yes, but ..."

The man often uses this expression, always and everywhere finds some drawbacks that outweigh any positive or composes fantastic justify any negative phenomena. Users of the warehouse often block the way around, and to ourselves.

How to fix it

The process of changing the wrong manner of thinking is no different from correcting bad habits of behavior. "We are able to develop new traditions, a much more healthy and useful than the old - says Dr. Freeman. - The most difficult thing is not giving up bad habits of thought, and not even in the assimilation of new, and in bringing them to automatism.

It's like learning how to hold a tennis racket. Coach put your hand, and you will have no difficulty to hold the racket as it should, but only as long as you think about it. But the main thing - to ensure that the capture me wrong in the midst of a difficult match.

And this requires practice. Just like for correcting errors in life. "

Source

Psychology of communication on the Internet to network resources

In our Internet age more weighty becomes such a part of life, both online psychology (from the English On line- line). Simply put, the psychology of communication on a network share. These include Learn, chat rooms, forums, ICQ, qip, and other means of communication with the use of the World Wide Web.

It would seem that what could be simpler than this exchange of information. Interlocutor you do not see (and often never seen), the opinion made in writing - that is, have the time to think and formulate a response.

There is an opportunity to invent and a little something to hide (his wife, the low wages and the old "ten"), something to embellish. Internet gives vent to imagination, while maintaining complete anonymity.

However, these same pros are the opposite direction - and you can invent, and even insult and offend. In general, to be ready for reality, pardon the pun, a virtual life look at the pitfalls of such a dialogue and find out how not to be left in the cold line.

So, I represent to your attention the list of potential interviewees, that you may encounter on the Internet.

View №1. Perfect half.

He accidentally knocked on your ICQ. Struck up a casual conversation, during which you discovered that your partner successful businessman with an allergy to alcohol and cigarette smoke. In addition, he one-woman man, but, unfortunately (unfortunately, of course, do not you) did not meet that unique.

In his spare time, he likes sports, riding his "Tuareg" on European roads and builds a house for his future big strong family. To attach a photo sketch of the muscular tanned handsome man with mysterious blue eyes ...

Well. There are 2 options: either it is your destiny (which sincerely wish you) ... or maybe a pair of ninth-graders decided to make a joke after school, and perhaps on the other side of the screen you are in love with the neighbor on the landing.

In any case, it is naive to believe every word - especially if you notice that the other person really in all respects unbelievably good - do not. Check Mr. Ideal for lice virtually worthless. A pair of provocative questions during the conversation will lead villain to clean water.

Conclusion: vigilance, alertness and vigilance again.

View №2. Genius.

For him, the virtual world - the house in which he hid from everyday life and everyday life. It is a creative person, hovering on the sites of young poets, lovers of prose and artistic resources.

He enthusiastically placing their creations in various forums and passionately going through every word of criticism of his creation. Most of all, in communicating these people unbearable. On the worldly affairs - no Sat, girlfriend - vredina new blouse - talk to him is useless.

He did not care, and most likely, it is even for the sake of decency would not represent the interest. At the Genius has a favorite topic (of course, the most brilliant), in which he is a real pro.

Therefore, a common language with the genius can be found only if it is a favorite topic of interest to you. Often, talented people are emotional and touchy, so you should carefully discuss the benefits Genievsky works.

Conclusion: In any case, communication with the creative personality interesting and unusual. Every person is "not of this world" is required to stand firmly on his feet half practical, so it's possible that the genius will be your friend or something more.

View №3. Accuser.

Almost any online community there is such a person. There's no sex or age restrictions. Brawler might be like 15-year-old girl and 40-year-old man. If these things comes the creation of the chat - everyone knows no quarrel will not do.

Subject brawler dispute is not important, the main thing - to swear and pull the nerves. Accuser always find something to complain about. During the dispute using strong words.

The Council, in this case, only one - put a bugger to ignore. Many chat rooms is a function as ignoring unwanted companion. You just do not see coming from Starscream messages and live in peace and peaceful.

If possible take advantage of this useful function is not simply ignore the insolent. Remember that you do not say, kicker always find a way to quarrel, so most effectively do not start a conversation with him. There are no words - there is no theme for the arraignment.

So Conclusion: do not give in to provocations. Cold politeness and calm Starscream withdraw from yourself, you will save your nerves and energy that can be spent on more useful things.

View №4. Lover Hero.

In contrast, half of the ideal is not necessarily beautiful and successful. But for the ambitious five. Fray vulgar jokes and sugary compliments, appeals to you not only as "my Zainka", "sun", "light of my eyes" and others.

After the traditional "hello, how are you? "Asks your ICQ number and picture in a bathing suit. In the fifth report he was in love and just think, when you will be able to meet and have a cup of champagne in a quiet place.

Easy and decisive character - a lover surprisingly quickly forget about their dreams and promises almost on the verge of a chat there is a new girl's nickname. Sensing this rake seriously not worth it.

Any serious topic he knows how to make a joke or a platitude, so it soon becomes boring. However, most likely the hero - lover family man and father of two wonderful Kinder and humorous pickup spends his harsh everyday work.

Conclusion: the source of such good for lifting the mood relaxed and easy conversation. In addition, we face it honestly, compliments, even if is not sincere, we still pleasant.

View №5. Pechorin.

Noteworthy is his laconic. But if speaks- sharply in the topic. Educated, well-read, in the course of all and everything. Statement does not tell much, but somehow inspires confidence and a desire to share.

Gives good advice, it keeps secrets. His nickname entwined mystery and speculation, and all the questions about his private life meets a mysterious smile played emoticon. In his few remarks intensive guessed shrouded in obscurity the past and a great knowledge of life.

Your imagination is already drawing currently 007 in the execution, and while away the hours ambush with an iPhone in hand. And what, really? There are many options. Maybe so, what to hide this nickname well, absolutely nothing, and it is infinitely sad.

Therefore, the haze of uncertainty created by himself - a way to make up for the lack of adventure in everyday life. It is possible that Pechorin really works in the Secret Service, and can hide from the former spouse - in any case, carries a secret that you do not care to know does not shine.

Conclusion: all the unknown in our lives gives scope for imagination. Entertain yourself unraveling of the human - and even if it's not worth it, it will be a valuable psychological lesson in your life.

Of course, the range of buddies male not limited to these types. The uniqueness of the person can not be divided into groups. And yet, some common features can highlight what I tried to do in this article.

Either way, online communication can not just while away the hours doing nothing but bring you new friends. Good luck!

Author Tatiana Knyazev