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Winter cherry - 2008, or again about women alone
My friend Kate Solovyov - quite a strong woman in the fullest sense of the word. These beautifully now sometimes referred to as "self-made woman". Kate owns a modern thriving travel agency
which comes on the new "Porsche", to be preceded by a couple of hours in the health club and beauty salon.
She was thirty, and it has everything: money, apartment, car, and business acumen, wit and willpower. There is only one simple, but absolutely essential things - family happiness.
As a teenager, she went through several unsuccessful novels, but the one, the only man with a capital worthy of her love, and has not appeared.
Now the men in her life for a long time do not stay - Kate convinces himself that she was missing a fleeting relaxing in bed with casual acquaintances. Morning "yet call each other" was her usual style of communication with men.
There are millions - beautiful, strong and successful women who are baffled by the impossible task - to find their "soul mate."
Why is it so hard, especially in our time? How to part with familiar friend - loneliness?
To understand this, one must understand what laws govern our lives. By nature we are all endowed with a kind of property that can be called "self-interest". This is - the desire to get something for yourself.
But there is in us, and the beginnings of the opposite properties, which are usually called "love." This is - the desire to give something to another, take care. Often love rolls like a wave, from the outside, as it were, against our will, breaking the narrow confines of education and public foundations.
It is also called the eclipse, although it would be fair to call it enlightenment - it is in the moments of love most people clearly feel the happiness. But keep these moments of altruistic happiness we can not, and our inner pendulum back in the direction of getting rejected for themselves.
And then we forget its former happy condition. Love comes to an end, and we are suffering, and that gave the greatest pleasure, he begins to see the light in the black, as a negative film.
The blame for the suffering from the loss of enjoyment of a woman holds the one who took it from her, that is the man. It follows from this that he was not worthy of her love, and thus it suffers only because he had the imprudence to love, that is, "to give himself." Such is the logic of selfish consciousness.
And many women who suffered the collapse of a love - and some even in advance, under the influence of "experienced" mothers - refuse to love, returns in favor of getting for themselves. Then there is a situation like Katya: woman seemed to be looking for a relationship with a man, but a decent, not really!
However, if it takes the trouble to think about exactly what it wants, it will understand that only wants to receive. Who is the "prince charming" in our ordinary view? None other than the man from whom you can get the most pleasure. He must be handsome, rich, smart and strong, and it does not matter that this simply does not exist ...
That's what says the desire to receive, which also tends to inflate over time - remember the famous fairy tale about the goldfish. There is a growing desire is also from generation to generation.
That is why the modern woman claims to men much more than her grandmother. And that is why fewer and fewer men in the world, capable of satisfying its needs. After all, she herself can - to make money, raise a family, build a house and plant trees.
Will there be a man who has something to give a self-sufficient woman? Such increased demands and leads to the most appropriate partner for a woman is ... herself.
And it happens so often that in our time the loneliness is becoming a universal problem. What's the problem, you say, if a woman is better than one, even if she lives alone. However, this is the way our world, Kabbalah says that the personal development of man can not be without a partner of the opposite sex.
Women have a stronger desire than men, so it stimulates the names of its development, for good reason married men tend to be much more successful in life than the unmarried.
A man helps a woman to orient their lives with respect to a particular purpose, and any - on the education of children to the knowledge of the unknown. This is very important because no human association, including the family, can not exist without a purpose.
And if a woman chooses as its objective the improvement of yourself and your partner, allowing the man to guide her along the way, the family fortune will come by itself. And for this you need to take control of their desire to receive.
No, I do not need to abandon their desires, the more so because it is impossible.
You just have to get rid of the fear of "giving themselves" beloved, because the more love you give, the more it becomes.
Stop fighting for "independence" - because in our world it is not there. Stop being afraid to receive less - we get just as much as our due, no more and no less.
To fear is only a lack of common purpose.
That is what destroys the family, not her husband's small salary and his trips "to the left". And for the sake of a common goal, for the sake of co-development is once again thinking: "But I am doing enough for your man?
Do the requirements of my improve it or just annoying and interfere? "
Such an attitude to make the happiness of infinite love.
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