How to change your life. Four agreements

Four agreements in order to change their lives.

Your word must be perfect

Speak openly and honestly. Speak only what is really meant.

Do not say things that can be used against you, or to gossip about others.

Use the power of words to reach the truth and love.

Do not take it personally

Strange things do not concern you. Everything that people say or do - it is a projection of their own reality, their own personal dream.

If you develop an immunity to the others' views and actions that will avoid needless suffering.

Do not make assumptions

Find the courage to ask in the case of misunderstanding the dates of your questions and to express what you really want to express.

In dealing with others achieve maximum clarity, to avoid confusion, do not get upset and do not suffer.

Already alone this agreement can completely change your life.

Try to do everything well

Your chances are not always the same: it is one thing when you are healthy, and another - when the sick or upset.

In all circumstances, just make every effort, and you will have no reproaches conscience pangs in your address and regrets.

Manipulation in communication

Any communication - is largely manipulation.

  All that we say on our idea should cause some reaction. Answering the question "How are you" - waiting for understanding, empathy, acceptance.

And when you do not get anything out of this ask a leading question such as "What do you think I done?" Extremely honest communication, devoid of manipulation in this case would have looked ridiculous, "Let me tell you how I'm doing, and I praise you? ".

In the case where one concept is replaced by another and there is manipulation in communication. When a person says one thing and means something quite different. Manipulation begins where logic ends and common sense. Manipulation is appealing to the senses.

There are many ways and forms of manipulation, but based on the fact on what our feelings play a manipulator, it can be divided into six main types.

6 types of manipulation in communication:

love.

As a child you were told: "If you're going to wriggle so, I will not love you." Though actually I had in mind: "Listen to me." Your man says to you: "You first stop biting his nails (to work, to go to her mother, read women's novels, every morning to cook hodgepodge ...), then we'll talk about the wedding."

Although actually has in mind: "I do not like it when you gryzesh nails." The boss says to you: "We are able to appreciate your employees, we have a friendly team of like-minded people. Therefore, rarely leaves our team on his own. " Although actually has in mind: "We are going to treat you well, if you work well"

Features of this manipulation

One of the most insidious and cruel manipulations, which are often used in homes. The child, accustomed to such treatment, is beginning to realize that the closest people do not take the whole thing, not like for what it is, but for what he is doing something or not doing.

In the partnership, such as conversations do not lead to anything good. Indeed, in this case, on one scale put the love, and the other a certain condition. It turns out that love - this is a product that, if necessary, can be exchanged for services or money.

fear.

As a child you were told: "Do not you do the lessons become a janitor." Though actually had in mind: "I do not know how you even get to do the lessons." Your man says, "If I will continue to work in this office, I will have a heart attack."

Although actually has in mind: "Get ready, I'll be fired" At work you say, "Masha, I immediately sent a resume of a very promising young officer. You have him just one profile. " But in fact they mean "no irreplaceable, gather, my dear."

Features of this manipulation

Using human fears - one of the most popular methods of manipulators of all types and stripes. Very often, they play on the lack of awareness of rights. Therefore, if you are a regular powder brains about some mythical dangers and urge to do something or other to avoid them - make inquiries.

Manipulation of self-doubt.

As a child you were told: "The Russian did you do, I see. And let's see what you do not get? ". Though actually I had in mind: "You are all the same no matter what is not capable, without my help."

Your man says to you: "You're going to eat at night cookies? Come on, come on. I'm still in the PC play ". Though actually I want to say: "I have the right to do what I want." At work, you are told: "Turn, please, a little text with the Chinese. Here's a dictionary, you have half an hour. " Though actually have in mind: "Do not bury, here I am the chief."

Features of this manipulation

Manipulation - it's always a question of power, and in this case it is most acute. "I - Head, you - fool" - so you can paraphrase most of the statements presented here. Problem chief manipulator (be it mother, father, boss, or president) is that it has no real authority, not the government, but wants it to be.

With him, of course, you can start playing the "giveaway" and flatter. But this flattery he will never be enough. It will be a while to calm down, and then again and again to seek confirmation of its viability at the expense of other people's weaknesses. However, he can manipulate you only if you are worried about your lack. Take yourself and your weaknesses, or get rid of them.

guilt.

As a child, you say: "Again won two in chemistry? Then I will wash the dishes. " But in fact they mean: "I am too lazy to wash the dishes, but uncomfortable to ask you about it." Your man says to you, "Veronica drank coffee while I'm here alone with a hungry child sitting? ".

Although in reality he has in mind: "Tomorrow I want to meet after work with Sergei, but you did not just let go, will be cut." At work, you say, "Take the day off today, do not worry, I'll do your work for you." But in fact they mean "a work I do, and then you remember this case."

Features of this manipulation

It is very common in family life, its frequent use leads to the fact that the husband and wife begin to play an exciting game - collecting other people's fault. Who is more scraped together, the won, he reads - obtained the rights to the realization of their secret desires. Although it is unclear why it is self-evident right to be won in such a strange and unpleasant way?

Change your destiny

In a pretty interesting Kabbalistic book I read that, changing the location, you can change the fate. I would like to know: this is only a psychological feeling of novelty in this area or have any real meaning, which should be seriously taken into account?

We see that in our world the place does have some impact on the person.

If we go to China and continue there a few hundred years, it will become like the Chinese. We'll go to South America and it will live for centuries - take the form of the South Americans.

Location, land forces operating in a certain part of the world, affect the human and change - both externally and internally. In our time, we held a very interesting study, the results of which indicate that the person is dependent on that even water that is drinking.

Today, we transport the water from one region to another, and this made me very human. He even changed the goods brought from another region, for example, China or India - it becomes "universal", incorporates the impact of all cultures.

So changing place, we change destiny. However, Kabbalists meant by this phrase is completely different. They say that we change their fate, not moving from place to place, and modifying their surroundings - the society in which we live.

In humans, there is no other means which would allow him to change the future, except for the choice of society. Choosing environment, we substitute themselves under his influence, and thus change their own destiny, as completely dependent on the impact of the society in which we live.

Therefore, to change the place, that is, environment changes and their fate - their future.

If the expectant mother during pregnancy thinking about how to have an abortion, you have such thoughts devastating effects on fetal development and whether it will affect the child's future? And if so, how a woman can avoid such thoughts in our world, where abortion has become a familiar and commonplace?

Any human mind has an impact on the world. Science is only now beginning to understand that the power of thought - the most powerful of all the world's powers.

It is stronger and more destructive nuclear, chemical, or any other type of weapon.

Our bad, selfish thoughts against neighbor and the whole of nature - they, in fact, destroy the whole of nature and human life on this earth.

If we could at least a little to fix his thoughts on more positive, it would have completely changed their lives.

Of course, thinking about the future of the child the mother affect the fetus and its development. However, nature has taken care to correct the negative and produced certain protective systems, even though we live in a society in which abortion has become commonplace.

Even if the mother thinks evil child, this idea does not come from itself, but is a consequence of the impact of society, to accustom her to the fact that abortion - it is a natural process in which there is nothing to worry about.

Therefore, these thoughts are on her account and do not have a direct impact on the poor of her child. They are mixed with all the negative thoughts that exist in the world, and do not cause such damage to the fetus, as it seems.

We must always remember that a person is measured not by itself, but only with respect to the society of that time and the general state of reality in which it is located.

If we compare people who lived a thousand or two thousand years ago, and myself today, then, of course, we find huge differences. We are obliged to take them into account and assess only in relation to each of his society, because it is the result of their environment.

Therefore, it is not so scary, and not be afraid of their bad thoughts - you should try to think only about the future, not the present and the past. Too bad thoughts linger in every moment of this, because it is immediately replaced by the next.

So let's think about their good future. And we have a tool that allows you to make it really good.