How to get rid of loneliness?

Saturday evening. In the room sits a lonely kid. Suddenly he cried out: "I hate weekends!" But there is no one who could answer him. He picks up a magazine, a picture catches the eye of a group of teenagers on the beach vacationers.

The magazine immediately flies to the side. In his eyes welling with tears. Trying to keep them, he grits his teeth - but all in vain. Unable to control himself, he falls weeping on the bed: "Why do I always remain alone?"

Almost every teenager goes through periods of monstrous loneliness, uncertainty and insecurity. It is also compounded by the fear that you're the one in the whole class, there is, in the whole school, not, in the whole universe, including the lower forms of plant life, you experience similar feelings.

You think you're separated from all the invisible wall that surrounds you impenetrable cloud. And no one understands you. Now you're jealous of the very popular girl with a pretty smile and want to be like her - without problems and worries. But even the most popular teenage doubt themselves.

Maybe that same girl is afraid that people do not love it, but only a pretty attractive face. And among those who make up "pop group" also has its own roster: one is the most popular of the popular, but someone standing among them in last place and must somehow put up with it.

In fact, you're not the only one who has a problem and if you risknesh talk about it with friends, you'll be amazed at how well they understand you, and what a relief it will be for them - to be able to talk to themselves about their problems. On the other hand, they may "close the shutters."

Teenagers so desperate to fit his "system" that they are afraid, as if someone did not consider their views or feelings of unusual. Do not visit if you and sometimes these feelings - feelings of loneliness and isolation from the outside world, a feeling of uselessness and the inner emptiness?

If so, do not be discouraged. Although alone and a little pleasant in any case, this does not die. In other words, loneliness - it's like a signal. Hunger sends a signal that it's time to eat.

The feeling of loneliness has warned that we are not close enough, companionship. Food is needed to maintain vitality. A chat - to maintain composure. Did you watch the coals? If you get a piece of coal from the general pile, he quickly goes out. But if you throw it back, he is heating up again!

And we, the people, being cut off from the outside world for a long time can not "burn" - our life force is gradually fading. After all, we initially laid down the need for communication.

Chronic loneliness.

However, in some cases, the oppressive feeling of loneliness does not want to retreat, and it seems like it will never end. That's what tells the senior Roman: "I was eight years old I go to the local school, but so far no one has made friends! Nobody knows how I feel, but no one before and do not care. Sometimes I think that I can not stand it anymore! "

Many young people, like Roman, faced with the so-called chronic loneliness. How can you recover from pneumonia, so you can get rid of chronic loneliness. First you need to find out why it occurs. 16-year-old Tanya highlights one of the most common causes of chronic loneliness:

"I think I am very lonely, because ... well, in general, can not be with someone to be friends, if you are dissatisfied with himself. I myself do not particularly like me." Reason alone Thani lies in itself. Lack of self-esteem prevents it from being more open and find yourself friends. One researcher says: "Those who are chronically lonely tend to think of himself:" I'm not attractive "," With me interested, "" I'm no use to anyone. "

Did you manage to get rid of feelings of loneliness, developing self-esteem. And when you learn to yourself for something to love, and then the surrounding notice your attractive qualities. But remember that the flower appears in all its glory, only when he dissolved, and your dignity really appreciate only when you open your them.

You do not need to engage in self-abasement and revel in self-pity. Shake, loan business, find yourself an interesting exercise, write poems, learn to play guitar, well, think of something. Your loneliness is due, firstly, with the typical problems of adolescence, and secondly, with the features of your character.

If there is no other, blame yourself. No approach to the proposal of friendship, if you look sad and depressed. Such people are not attracted to the other, and push away from itself.

Alone, but not lonely.

* "I never met a more sociable companion than loneliness."

Is not it true noticed? "Yes, - meets 20-year-old Boris. - I like to spend time in nature. Sometimes I go to the lake, sail from the coast in their small boat and long sitting there alone. This situation has to ensure that quietly reflect on themselves and their life. For me it's very important. "

Agrees 21-year-old Simon. "I live in a large apartment building, - he says - and if I need to be alone sometimes climb onto the roof. There I was about something thinking. It gives me strength." Yes, moments of solitude, if they correctly use can bring great satisfaction.

What to do if you feel bad?

First, you must realize that you are not alone. Carefully observe people around you, and you will find carefully concealed a sense of dissatisfaction. When tomorrow you go to school, calmly watched the students, who met on the way to school. I assure you that many of them have the same problems that afflict thee.

Pick your own self-esteem

Self-esteem affects all aspects of your life, everything you think, do and feel affects how you interact with other people. Our ideals and values ​​are based on their own life experiences.

People with low self-esteem often have a distorted view of how other people see them. They focus on the negative aspects of their own, ignoring their good qualities.

Improper self-esteem leads to feelings of inadequacy or incompetence when they compare themselves with others.

Here are four steps to raise your self-esteem:

Step 1. Make a list of self.

It is important to get the right self-description, and this is best done by describing their strengths and weaknesses, using the following categories:

A). Physical appearance. Describe your height, weight, complexion, hair color and other features of your body. Write down what clothes emphasizes your strengths and what you do not go.

B). How I feel about others? What are the positive and negative qualities do you notice in other people? Describe how you interact with others.

AT). PERSONALITY. Write down a list of all your positive and negative personality traits.

D). How others see me? What are the strengths and weaknesses you see in others?

D). Executive in everyday affairs.

E). Executive at work and at school.

F). Mental activity. Include your ability to reason and problem solving, creativity, level of general knowledge and areas of special interest.

B). SEXUALITY. How do you see yourself as a sexual partner?

Step 2. Review the list of your weaknesses.

It is important to recognize their weaknesses. Try not to judge or criticize yourself. Use accurate descriptions, for example, instead of saying that you have thick thighs, write them the exact amount.

Avoid generalizations, for example, if you write that you are obedient to specify what the situation is right. By doing so, you will find their additional strengths, which previously did not even know.

Step 3. Review the list of your good traits.

Add to your list further strengths that you find yourself revising the list of weaknesses. Make a list of your personal achievements and feelings associated with these achievements.

Read the list of your strong traits and try to find others that you might have missed. Think about the traits that you admire in the people you know, and write them on a separate sheet of paper.

Look at this list, considering each quality. Is some of them to you? You may be surprised to find that many of the characteristics that you value in others, already have in your personal list.

If you find some of these features in themselves, but they are not on your list, add them. Your personal strengths of the list is completed, it is now necessary to reformulate it in complete sentences.

Be sure to give it the time and write as much as possible many. You have spent so many years thinking about my weaknesses, now it's time to pay attention to their strengths.

Step 4. Create a new description of himself.

This step involves a combination of your strengths and weaknesses with an accurate and objective description of himself. Read this description every day. Choose the positive aspects of its description and repeat them 10 times a day.

Two things that will best help you to raise the self-esteem:

1. Be among the people who help you to take themselves well.

2. Eat well and develop physically.

Ivan Cunard