| Table of contents
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| What is the offense and how to cope with it
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| Page 2
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You will learn:
What is the offense? What is its mechanism? And why some people are more easily offended, others - less? What is the reason? But, nevertheless, some easier to offend, and others - more difficult. Is not that so?
And how to explain that some people easier to accept his own wrong, and the other - a sharp knife? And how to deal with it?
What is the offense? What is its mechanism?
Resentment - a mixture of aggression facing the inside and outside. The most agonizing component of any offense, when, they say, hooked - this is when you realize that the offender's rights. And the more this component - the stronger and hurt. Roughly speaking, do not hurt us, we offend themselves.
We are offended by the fact that unconsciously agree with some quasi-bad deed (or judgment) in the address. The less offended component of aggression, facing inward, the less it - hurt, and the more - namely aggression, depressed and clear desire to "fight back."
And why some people are more easily offended, others - less? What is the reason?
All touchy. Just all its Sensitive (sensitive) point, its "theme." Offend can be striking a person is in a place in which is concentrated the largest number of "nerves", relatively speaking.
In the "subject" in which he himself had the maximum number of confusion, uncertainty and questions to himself. As they say, the word "bastard" can only hurt the person who is unsure of his mother.
But, nevertheless, some easier to offend, and others - more difficult. Is not that so?
This is true, but only partly. On the one hand, the more a person "oproblemlen", the easier it is to offend, because more likely to get into the sensitive spot: they are simply a lot. On the other hand, those who seems thick-skinned may actually not at all are not.
Just "a" touchy learned a style or mode of behavior (whether it is related to the parent family, a way of life, and later experiences, native - not important), and "less" touchy - learned another. And the big question is, who are less touchy in fact - one who readily express their feelings, or - the one who is afraid of "losing face" does not show them and saves.
In the second case, a just resentment can stay with a person for a long time - because even he himself does not admit that he feels
And how to deal with it?
The most simple and effective way, if not completely free from resentment, then, at least, to weaken it - to express their feelings. At least - to admit to myself, "Yes, I'm offended," and try to figure out what is so badly hooked?
As a maximum - should express the hurt and the offender himself. Unfortunately, this method is usually difficult to achieve. And how to explain that some people easier to accept his own wrong, and the other - a sharp knife? With the recognition of injustice - exactly the same thing.
It would not be quite right to say that some people are easier to recognize his own wrong, and the other is heavier. All hard to admit his own wrong, "tied" to some of these sensitive topics. The painful topic for the person, the harder it was to her to behave appropriately.
And if you realize that you made a certain carelessness, rudeness, or was wrong - is your theme or is a person associated with this theme, then just to be polite and well-mannered, easy to apologize. Because this action is not related to us with some difficult internal step, almost a feat.
As for feats, here, of course, there are heroes. But few of them, as in war. The most important and most painful to admit they were wrong only a few are capable. This requires real courage.
My world (the world of understanding)
Madly I want to, I want at least sometimes, that people understand you without words, just understood and did not ask. Just looked into your eyes and knew. Do not mistake because that "the eyes - a mirror of the soul."
So you want your soul to someone knew !!! I dream about it and find myself thinking, and whether or not I want it? No, well, a little bit of understanding can not hurt anyone, that's for sure. Checked own experiences.
But absolute understanding - this is too much. It's like, if ever there was a day or night, or rain, or snow, or something that everyone likes in this life. This could turn into a nightmare. It is always good - it's not very good! Although there is a way. What?
We need to come up with the remedy, so to speak, "an absolute understanding" were not permanent, but temporary, ie it arises only when we want it. Then it would be very nice and easy to live with. Why is that?
Yes, if only because it can not be a full understanding of the fact that we often do not understand themselves. Yes, I do not understand their desires, thoughts and actions. Admit it, it is. Silly, you say? Not at all.
It is very interesting to observe yourself, your thoughts in the mind, the soul, the heart. They are so changeable, unique, fleeting and dissolving as the morning mist over the river and you need to get them to remember to think and then give them to the world, the universe, everything, all people, and especially the most expensive and loved.
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