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All wrong. This is the essence of human nature. We share their mistakes into small (you suddenly notice - ah-ah-ah! - That put the sweater inside out) and large (you realize - oh my! - That the person whom you bestowed their love and trust at all they do not deserve) and relate these to the category of stupid mistakes, if we believe that their brand could easily be foreseen.
But, alas, for some reason, we repeat them again and again.
- Granted, it may seem incredible that it is possible to choose from the hundreds of thousands of blunders and millions of stupid things just ten common mistakes made by people - says MD, of the Center for Cognitive Therapy (studying imagination and associative thinking. - CP.) The University of Pennsylvania Arthur FREEMAN .
- But there are specific error of thinking that create new challenges for us, aggravate and complicate the search for existing solutions. Such errors of thinking leads to misinterpretation of experience, false judgments about other people and incorrect self-assessment.
And if the person who is constantly unlucky finally understand what he is doing wrong, luck is sure to turn to face him.
1 small chicken Syndrome
There is a children's tale. On the small chicken she fell from the walnut tree and knocked on the head. But the chicken is thought that it collapsed the whole firmament. Similarly, people often come to absolutely catastrophic conclusions, without bothering to think even for a moment on the theme "Perhaps I have misunderstood something? ". Funk throws man into a state of emotional and intellectual paralysis.
2. Mind reading
One of the most carefully cherished illusions is that we are confident in his ability to read the thoughts of others, and the ability of others to navigate the tables of our soul. "I do not I will tell him he must guess! "- A very common statement, invariably leads to deep disappointment, when eventually it becomes clear that the man not only knew what he supposedly has to do, but had no idea of what you expect.
3. The tendency to attribute all at his own expense
Many are willing to take personal responsibility for absolutely everything. And they answered and someone's bad mood and bad weather, and an earthquake on the edge of the world. Of course, they have no choice, as angry or upset.
4. Self-confidence is based on blatant flattery of others
Rendering is a holy confidence, supported by flatterers that kind of achievement in any one area automatically guarantee success in all other areas of life without the efforts that were once attached to the first victory.
5. Trust critics
Error opposite the previous one, but the trouble delivers no less. It is without question that you take for granted any criticism, without hesitation: "Who are the judges? "- And generally there is in the nature of your hypothetical Zoilus? (carping critic of Plato, Isocrates and Homer, whose name became a byword for Zoilus spiteful criticism).
6. Maximalism
This means the quality of the pursuit of excellence in all areas. Thesis sounds just great: hardly anyone would argue with the fact that the establishment of high standards - a good thing. But rigor becomes irrelevant when your standards are so high that you can not even come close to their level. So foolish to strive for one hundred percent perfection to eventually get zero results.
7. Painful comparison
Compare and contrast detection - a decent way to analyze the differences. But people often suffer because only pay attention to those who say not in their favor, or when blindly accept on faith negative evaluations of others. This approach is simply discouraging.
8. "What if ..."
Alert! Alert! Alert! That is what is the type of thinking, "What if ...". Are you concerned about something that does not exist, or that the probability is close to zero. Thus, the legitimate concern for the health and well-being are complemented empty troubles, reducing the potential that you could use to confront real challenges.
9. "You have to! " "Must".
Normal, everyday words, but not if it is an order that is not subject to discussion. Otherwise, the most everyday words turns into a pointing finger, categorically demands: "Do not you dare to evade the specified path at least a hundredth of a millimeter, not bitterly regret it! You're going to blame you will be ashamed! "People who are often used in relation to his word" should "are building around them prison walls. They are so focused on what should or should have done in the past that they simply do not have time to think about how it is done now and what they will do in the future.
10. "Yes, but ..."
The man often uses this expression, always and everywhere finds some drawbacks that outweigh any positive or composes fantastic justify any negative phenomena. Users of the warehouse often block the way around, and to ourselves.
How to fix it
The process of changing the wrong manner of thinking is no different from correcting bad habits of behavior. "We are able to develop new traditions, a much more healthy and useful than the old - says Dr. Freeman. - The most difficult thing is not giving up bad habits of thought, and not even in the assimilation of new, and in bringing them to automatism.
It's like learning how to hold a tennis racket. Coach put your hand, and you will have no difficulty to hold the racket as it should, but only as long as you think about it. But the main thing - to ensure that the capture me wrong in the midst of a difficult match.
And this requires practice. Just like for correcting errors in life. "
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