A friend of my girlfriend - a taboo?

Should I start a relationship with another girlfriend?

Female friendship - a very thin region! Let's try to define the slippery moments that may hinder communication with her best friend.

Female friendship - a very controversial area. And there is enough contradictions, delicate moments and terrible details.

Men, as a rule, with horror and incomprehension belong to it and can not understand how a woman can hold each other all day long, while envying one another, competing in matters of love and competing in a number of new things.

Women's betrayal - not for the general theme of the novel, and the friendship ends where it begins the sphere of personal claims.

Men are much simpler and clearly is lined on the black and white stripes. That is - friendship, and everything else is not.

And my friend, I can not give the latter, despite the fact that he is more successful than I, and his wife, my more beautiful. The notions of rivalry and betrayal in friendship for the man are not compatible, unlike women.

Women are far more reasons to communicate and points of contact - a mutual self-assertion by deficiencies friends, the opportunity to come together for the common enemy without feeling sympathy probably use beauty and charm of a friend in order to get a joint new friends, but who knows what else!

It is not necessary to go into details the motives that make women's friendship is much more meaningful, challenging and indestructible.

Let's try to define the slippery moments that may hinder communication with her best friend. Should I start a relationship with another girlfriend?

The moment the first.

She broke up with another boyfriend. Can I borrow that she no longer belongs to? You can try.

Possible scenarios:

you just burn this man, and you and a friend will be a common theme for discussion;

he will throw you in the same way as it used to be, and it will be proud to have more than one hit, which also brought together by you;

from the height of his bitter 'experience', she will advise you how to behave with this man, and into the role of mom vzhivshis be content with patronizing role in your friendship.

But what she really would not tolerate, because it is your happiness with that person. Sparkling glitter in your eyes will be cut with a knife in her heart, and your stories about the future of marriage with a man who she was not needed, will strike a blow to her self-esteem that your friendship will be the end for sure.

The moment the second.

It's just one of your girlfriends, it does not feel for him the slightest affection of the heart, and be grateful for what you rid it of excess fan.

A scenario also does not shine optimism:

if you parted with this man, she would be happy that she did not have to go through it myself;

if he is a bad lover or a ladies 'man, she would worry about you and say,' she warned you! ';

if you throw it you will experience a feeling of pity mixed with excellence - because you do not disdain to take a 'rotten apple' with its table, so what are now the cry?

Again, the worst outcome of events - if you will be happy with this man! You are now in the coffin of life should be grateful to her for what she introduce you. And the envy of your happiness, that would belong to her, does not give the possibility to be your friend as before.

Moment of the third, the most dangerous.

She still loves him, but because of the reluctance to acknowledge his weakness and, seeing that he is not indifferent to you, pretending that he was completely indifferent to her and she will be so happy for you two! Here hold the air!

The most unimaginable and subtle ways of revenge, betrayal, and burning hatred will fall on your shoulders. Maybe not immediately, but even many years later.

Under the guise of friendship disappears rejected rival, and should not expect mercy! Summing up all the above, it can be simple and clear conclusion.

The woman, in any case sees a man who is beside her as personal property. And under no circumstances will not tolerate a rival in the person's best friend.

Leave her alone, without your help to deal with their men and search for happiness in a completely different place!

Of course, there are happy exceptions, but they only confirm the general rule sad: "A friend of my girlfriend - a taboo!"

Psychological support

Words that will support

Any of us, regardless of age, status and opportunities, it happened sometimes to fall into a situation where everything goes wrong, and whatever we undertake, to deal with the place did not move. It does not always help and enthusiastic support of friends and relatives.

They have a sincere desire to cheer us: "You should come! "; "After all, you've always coped with everything! "; "Come on, it's just nonsense - something at your energy and ingenuity! ". And it becomes the worse ...

But why?

When someone refers to our inner reserves, offers to remember that we are successful, energetic, capable of much, contrary to expectations, it pushes us further into a corner.

The fact is that in the difficult moments of life we do not remember, do not feel so what really are.

Caught in a difficult situation one understands that others expect from him something quite specific, but being unable to meet these requirements, he begins to doubt himself, unwittingly afraid to disappoint their loved ones, and therefore forces himself to conform to their ideas about himself .

For this, he strongly urges on themselves while the power it needs quite another - for reflection, a new look at yourself, independent decisions, actions and behavior unusual.

In addition, the suffering and his faith in himself: "I should not have, and try to project needs a completely different person! "; "Yeah, well it, this computer science, I have it does not have the ability." But all the same cheer a loved one?

The main thing - do not put pressure on him his expectations: uncertainty about how others would react to what he does, interfere with focus and act in the right direction.

Much more important is to show that, despite the difficult situation, our attitude has not changed, that we appreciate and respect him as before.

If we want to emphasize that it always turns out all the best for a specific example from the past: "Remember how loved your performance? But then it seemed that no one will appreciate! "

It is useful to state and your view of the situation: perhaps it really so complicated that get lost in it is quite natural. Or give an example from his own life, giving to understand that in such circumstances, the complexity of experiencing it all: "How many nerves gone, when I was appointed to this post! "

And of course, in addition to words of encouragement and good offer real help - from the most basic (cook dinner) to a significant - to help make the report or deal with the control.

How to change your life. Four agreements

Four agreements in order to change their lives.

Your word must be perfect

Speak openly and honestly. Speak only what is really meant.

Do not say things that can be used against you, or to gossip about others.

Use the power of words to reach the truth and love.

Do not take it personally

Strange things do not concern you. Everything that people say or do - it is a projection of their own reality, their own personal dream.

If you develop an immunity to the others' views and actions that will avoid needless suffering.

Do not make assumptions

Find the courage to ask in the case of misunderstanding the dates of your questions and to express what you really want to express.

In dealing with others achieve maximum clarity, to avoid confusion, do not get upset and do not suffer.

Already alone this agreement can completely change your life.

Try to do everything well

Your chances are not always the same: it is one thing when you are healthy, and another - when the sick or upset.

In all circumstances, just make every effort, and you will have no reproaches conscience pangs in your address and regrets.