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Envy - a poison to the heart of the enemy and happy companion of Satan.
At least these characteristics philosophers bygone days branded envy. The statements are much experienced its authors as, alas, the very "phenomenon" that live today.
Are there ways to not let her into your heart, and dignity to fight back alien envy?
Maliciously and without
Summoning all the information about envy, we come to the first conclusion that envy is of two types - white and black.
White "subspecies" You can not be afraid from time to time to allow yourself. Let's take a situation - a colleague Irina came to work in the new skirt, which is "shed light on the truth of God" not only skirt miracle as well, but Irina managed to lose weight for a couple of sizes, and looks stunning. And you catch yourself thinking, "What kind of Ira done! And lacking a human willpower to give up cakes, jogging and going to the gym in the evening! Yes, the new dress - exclusive, and Ira - itself "diamond". So, we must urgently address itself! "
If the carousel spins of these thoughts in your head, congratulations: you have visited the white envy. This feeling is mostly constructive, it is about him once said Alexander Pushkin: "Envy - the sister of the competition." Perhaps the kind of taut elegant colleagues motivate you to life in the new "format", where there is no place calorie sweets, lying in front of TV and dull clothes.
The only thing that remains is to advise: do not restrain "Soul great gusts" ozvuchte colleague his admiration. But as long as you sincerely rejoice, someone choking anger: "Look, a new skirt got on! Of course, if I earned so much, but it would be my time on shopping trips, I would have bought myself a ... Yes, this "Mademoiselle" from imagining yourself? Nothing, "not all cat Shrovetide" wait until her life will shake ... "And this is the most that neither is a black envy.
She is involved in a harmless desire to get the same skirt (or another "stimulus", whether it looks, talent and success), and in an effort to encourage the thunder and lightning on the heads of those who turned out to be higher, smarter, prettier, etc. Motif black envy something like this: "It's not that the joy that I have a cow calved, and the grief that a neighbor's hen laid." What is most offensive - "Black envious" absolutely convinced that the benefits reach the other, not the fruit of his efforts and diligence, as "manna from heaven", unfairly piled on her head worthless little man. This "world" - a thing not only unpleasant, but also dangerous.
Before envy at hand
To learn how to recognize jealousy, try to understand the depths of what nasty feeling originates. First, get rid of illusions: to become the object of someone's envious glances, gossip, do not need to show off the pages of «Forbes», to be a Nobel Prize winner (or winner of husband-oligarch) and beauty to overshadow the red-sun. Enough and "small doses" of success, that someone grinding his teeth with rage, they say, one whole, the other nothing. Secondly, we should not think that jealousy is inherent only embittered losers, omnivorous this feeling can only be horrified. So by browsing the detail, where are envious.
I do not calculate the possible
Ordinary situation: the man was a fiasco in any endeavor. Thought it on the shoulder, "project", but no - not held. Mark would frankly admit to himself, they say, what are you, brother, poorly prepared? We had to work harder, then it would be subjected to the vertex. But a lot of you know as objective and reasonable Homo sapiens? Search perpetrators rarely begins with a loved one, simply assign responsibility for personal failure of others - they supposedly were just lucky. But we know what took place in the sun "minion and lucky!" And starting in black envy.
"I am on your background to be seen! "
The following case - painful perfectionism. There is a category of the population that does not like very pale look on someone's background, so if you do not Give a laurel wreath of triumph, the general's shoulder straps for sure. And, fortunately, everything in life develops smoothly everywhere honor and respect - to confess, "subject" really capable.
But here there is a new "light" - with bright fresh ideas, sparkling jokes and ingenious solutions. Former idol pushed into the shadows and into oblivion, fans celebrated the new leader ... Do you think retired "sun catcher" humbly accept the resignation and would be willing newcomer exceptionally good health, happiness and long years? Rather, the ranks of the "black envy," added another volunteer.
Make yourself an idol
Another reason envious gnashing of teeth - a pathological self-doubt. It seems that God is not a person does wrong, all with him, but the poor man hammered into his head that he had to colleagues (or other "benchmark") will never grow up. And even if they were twins with equal performance on all counts, diffident type will stubbornly believe that he is offended by fate - such nature.
Cases of severe, treatment is virtually impossible. Of course, this is not the only "providers" envious colleagues, but the largest. But these sources will be enough to understand that jealousy is peculiar to people in varying degrees flawed. When the little soul too small for joy at another's success, it appears.
The envious. Sketches from life
Try to take for granted: a lot of envy. Not that all the time, "Germans dressed", but the number of them - a serious magnitude. And if jealousy did not peculiar to you, I do not think that others do not have this "diabolical marks". In order not to suffer sleepless nights, wondering, "Why did Marya so cold today to talk to me? "Wound on the mustache" special signs "envious.
These "actors" is also divided into two types: open and secret. Representatives of the first category can be seen with the naked eye, "obsessed" openly enjoyed any of your slip is always ready to "comfort" of verbal filth and relish savor your mistakes, of course, public. Sometimes their "Dance of St. Vitus' so obvious that it becomes uncomfortable for the right person: eva as toiling poor man, looking a laughing stock in the eyes of colleagues!
Another thing - envious secret. These are "comrades" are smart enough not to "sputter" and "spew curse" in the public eye, but they can also be to expose.
So, there is every reason to "keep an eye" if someone from your environment:
* irritated, barely comes into view, or start talking about your person. Envy is like a voracious virus completely takes hold of a man, "the victim" did not seem to realize what exactly it unsettles in your behavior, experiences and general dislike. Therefore, every time "infection" will seek out more and more flaws in you vsazhivaya studs sarcastic comments;
* tells you about personal success, demonstrating clear superiority. Let all the articles he not hold a candle, but he ... teeth whiter, here!
* "Finger on the pulse" of your life, either directly or through third parties to learn about everything that happened and where you still happy "halt." You may not be aware of the awareness of such "curious Barbara," but believe me, it is something certainly aware of all of your ups and downs;
* listening to the story of your success, asks probing questions, veiled meaning is: "Well, admit it, it's a coincidence, your contribution here! ". For example, about five kilograms dropped: "Maybe the balance lie? Or simply stretched the dress in which you have never breaks? "
White to move and win
So mudslinger calculated, will neutralize it. The most stupid thing you can do in this situation - humbly wait for another attack and "in fact" to fight back. As you know, someone else's soul - darkness not predict where to wait for the attack, so it makes sense to forestall. And the best tactics to surprise the enemy rather than a non-standard way, you can imagine.
"Let's talk to each other compliments"
The true remedy envious - sincere praise. Surely the "enemy" has strengths, such as: the ability to tell funny jokes, play checkers and whistle "Dog Waltz". That envy is white! Experienced people say that the "weapon" works perfectly: the opponent's self-esteem goes up, he realizes that he is also not born yesterday, you look down and stops. At least temporarily. An important condition - a compliment to be "well-deserved" and upright, otherwise it may be perceived as an evil joke.
Praise "through an intermediary"
No less effective method - a compliment addressed envious, but "as if by chance," voiced by third parties. Do not skimp on praise (again sincere), if the conversation touches his person. Rest assured, sooner or later your kind comments made "final destination." Hopefully envious ashamed and stop harassing you.
«SOS! Help me! "
Another effective way - to ask the advice of the envious. So you show friendliness and recognition of its competence in certain matters. And though you're not going to follow instructions, be a man - listen carefully thanking. You'll see - you will be rewarded for your patience.
However, there is the category of "hyper-envy" which the above-mentioned diplomatic tricks that the elephant a pellet. Here to help only one - a total disregard. Eventually, envy - not your problem, you are not chewing on the pillow at night from what someone longer legs, higher wages, and the fans more.
And in general, fend off new "shots" so envious: "Better to be the envy than compassion." It Herodotus once said. Well, perhaps I was wrong?
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