How to cope with irritability

Air conditioning does not help here. It is necessary to saturate the air ions. You can buy air ionizer, to get in the office next to the computer ferns or evergreens (eg, juniper or decorative fir). And it is desirable during the work day go for a walk on the street at least twenty minutes.

BTW

Massage relieves irritability

Self-massage of bioactive points better to do, sitting in a comfortable position. At each point of press to the average power for one minute, respectively, the entire massage takes less than five minutes.

1. Massage the point in the hole on the chin (which is responsible for the removal of feverish excitement).

2. Then find the point in the center of the depression under the occipital bone (this will help to normalize the pressure).

3. Feel for a point in the center of the highest part of the crown (pressing it will help to restore breathing).

4. Firmly press into the center of the palm on the inside - alternately on the left and right hand.

5. With an average power of massage the point in the center of the solar plexus.

TEST

Easy for you to keep yourself in the hands?

(Extract from a professional diagnosis of the level of neuroticism LI Wasserman)

Each answer should be "yes" or "no."

I get headaches often.

Once a week or more, I'm very nervous and excited.

Two or three times a week at night I was plagued by nightmares.

Recently, I feel worse than usual.

Very tired during the day, after working almost crawl to the house in a foul mood.

I began to disturb the stomach, unclear abdominal pain or chest.

The relations between people increasingly triumphant injustice.

Sometimes I harassed myself that I take too much on themselves and unable to everything "razrulit."

I hate large crowd of people.

On mass events feel mental and physical discomfort.

Increasingly, there is a feeling that in front of me suddenly grew a mountain of difficulties that can not be overcome.

I confess that I often worry about trifles that are not worth.

Often very upset that I was short-tempered, grumpy and irritable, but I can not help myself.

It seems that the closest I have little understanding of, or simply refuse to be on my side.

Once a week or more often for no apparent reason, I feel the heat throughout the body, or, on the contrary, like a cold shiver.

The answer is "yes" to more than 11 points.

Your level of irritability is high. And, most likely, it is not only a property of nature, but also a manifestation of problems with health in general. You need a competent examination to start a therapist and endocrinologist.

8 - 9 answers "yes."

You have an increased level of irritability. We have to learn to control himself, or, as experts say, does not hurt, "correction of behavior." You may want to visit a psychologist, to work together to develop a program for you to smooth sharp corners of your character and the establishment of communication with others.

7 or less answers "yes."

Are you an active person with a lively character. Something in life rightly takes you out of yourself. But you deal with your anger and do not give difficulties you knock the ground from under their feet.

To think or react?

How not to feel sorry for what had happened?

It's very simple - to spare! But maybe you can help the knowledge that the person remembers only 10% of the information related to other people, while 90% of the memory is dedicated exclusively to themselves. So, as you would be foolish not acted, it may take several days, and no one will remember this.

And even if it is, it is only as a fact. "Remember what our Stepan otmochite? "And then, changing topics. After all, people have not been in your shoes, did not experience the same emotions, does not scroll after this situation in mind hundreds of times. For them it is meaningless situation. And if you think otherwise, then you have not solved the problem of the significance and place in the world. You are not the navel of the earth! Even very well-known people can not be discussed endlessly.

And accidents are the people who believe that the person they are under constant surveillance by the public. In fact, no stranger to us any business, and if you think about it, it's very good. This will allow you to easily forgive myself for many flaws. After all, they have long no one remembers!

What do we feel when we can not forgive yourself?

Typically, this is a shame and a pity. Shame is born from a variety of contradictions and deep conflict between "how it should be" and "how it was" hiding in the body in special "zones of shame." This is the closed part of the body - the armpits, elbows, behind the knees area, inguinal folds.

Not by chance, from an attack of shame us throws in the heat and sweat. And so, suddenly manifested reaction of the skin in these places, as well as intolerance and hypersensitivity tickling these zones, they say that have a lot of shame - it's time to forgive yourself.

How to learn to react?

Think about what you risk if let go and allow yourself to react? Ham, say that he is a boor. Mocker raise a laugh. Tsyknite arrogant taxi driver at the train station? Recognizes the beautiful stranger on the subway, they had never seen such beauty around?

What terrible will happen if you do not choose your words? Even if it's terrible to happen, how long will you keep this in mind if you do not cheat yourself?

Make sure to have fun! Do what you want at least once! Compare experiences. And even if the spontaneous response has not led to the desired results, it really upset you?

Please remember that spontaneously react and behave unseemly and disrespectful to other people it's different things! And interestingly, the more free you live, the less you'll get into a negative situation. The adoption of the other always occurs through the adoption of yourself!

How to deal with disappointment over the fact that he had done wrong?

Select a half-hour of free time and stay in the room alone. Remember how the situation is unfolding when you did "wrong." Remember the situation in detail. Look around, and answer the questions - if in this space was the point at which to begin this situation, where would it be? Stand up to this point.

- In which direction the situation, if you look in the direction of this space? Take a few steps in this direction, scrolling in the memory, as you did, and that felt. Return to the starting point. Think about how you would like to do in this situation?

- The direction in which this situation would develop if you did, they wanted to? Turn around and take a few steps in this direction. At each step, stop and ask yourself - what would be next, if I do that? Be careful not to let your imagination flew too far.

Perhaps, at some point you realize that what you did so, too, would not have come to the desired result. And I would not have had the joy expected. Then go again on the first path. Once again in the second.

And then get your hands on the steps the space between the vectors that you paved space. Pacing, think that this situation could be a lot of different junctions and each step is, in fact, a move to a spontaneous response. You can, but you can in a different way, can be different, you are free to choose!

Summarize the work. Ask yourself, what's new, and you got what conclusions did.

Elena Shubin

Evil art of manipulation

"Manipulator - circus artist-magician, skillfully manipulating various objects" - defines the concept of interest to us Dictionary of foreign words. Manipulator in life, not on the stage, at least skillfully manipulates - us. "Different things" for him we are. The magician turns the cylinder upside down and from jumping mouse. Whether you like to be a mouse?

Yet one does not once, not twice turned into a not too smart these animals under the attentive gaze predatory cats - manipulator. Apparently, it is worth a closer look into this phenomenon, to understand the basics of the "evil art of manipulation."

Players of cat and mouse

Remember, and "Autumn Marathon" incompetent interpreter asks talented and conscientious colleague to help her with the translation? And he unfailingly ruled strangers helpless doodle - rather, rewrite again. Time he and his life is not enough, but he got his head in someone else's business and does not notice how dull eyes mountain - interpreters, watching him turn into two huge, glittering triumph of cat eyes. Mouse swallowed - the job is done. Proxy.

Home sage

He is, as befits a wise man teaches. In the absence of a wider audience - home. Thinking difficult because true specific and in each case it is necessary to re-extract the light. "Oracle Home" pull it out of the darkness of his lazy mind once and for all. On all occasions he has one comprehensive formula: "What did I say! Play it!" This manipulation thinner above: it provides "sage" intellectual superiority without any effort on his part (and of course, without any reason).

Alien wing

Who has not had to endure a colleague - the eternal child? Being professionally untenable, he got used to the amazing art of roles timid, indecisive, do not always understand what was wanted of him, waiting for a friendly tips (OPEC). Appealing to the eternal craving generous people - taking under the wing of the weak, the unfit - he arranged for someone else's wing as cuckoo in the nest of robins: comfortable and thoroughly. There is no doubt - the "foundling" survive and peresidit (podsidit) all of its talented and promising colleagues.

The child in the family

"And so all on me, and even a man all day lying on the couch. Were laid off, and while it is not expected", - the catch phrase of the sample 90 other women pronounced not just sadly and sympathetically - pitifully. Why is that? Resentment would be more natural. But it is not and will not be, because the hocus-pocus was a success, "the man on the couch," settled on him a long time. Why bother, to move, to think about their daily bread? My wife likes to water-feed, to care, to sympathize. She twisted pair - look how cleverly driven home by WHO.

But another type of fans to "hide the mice in a cylinder":

As you have not heard? (Not seen?)

Employee habitually late for half an hour, ran into the office with a view of shocked, "Well, as you yesterday?" People raise their heads, angry Chief forgets everything that was going to put "this hussy." Next is presented yesterday telesensatsiya with pereperchennymi and salty details. All eagerly incorporated into the discussion, and latecomers slips quietly behind his desk. When the passions subside, violators of peace so already hard at work that make her remark would be the greatest faux pas ... Reception rude, but works perfectly.

Or a situation very familiar to everyone:

Not with your wallet!

We are facing the counter, meticulously examining table lamps (pots, bags, vacuum cleaners - does not matter), most of which we can not afford. Having admired plenty to please show the one that is easier. "Or maybe this one?" - And the saleswoman, seeing us through and through, with a slight smile nods to orange-abazhurnoe miracle made in France. "Why not? Show!" - We throw back, swallowing the lump in his throat and trying to figure out from what would have to give for the sake of the overseas gizmos ... It's all right. We bought into the subtle, prudent rudeness - bought the thing, not the most necessary in the house.

This is in general mechanism underlying any manipulation manipulator sees and instantly calculates our weaknesses.

They also have a "product", "buying" and "selling" the manipulator who settled in life. Why we are so permeable to them, then they are for us - the "thing in itself", a "black box"?

The answer is that manipulyatorstvo generally speaking - human nature. Why make the effort yourself, if someone else would take it on yourself? Children, for example - model manipulators. What father would not sweating over the equations, instead of the young idler who first requested supporting formula, then "forgets" how to use it, - etc. etc.

Rummaging in the memory of anyone remember how many times he drove the nose well-wishers, forcing them to go to the bones, where he was too lazy to move my little finger. But we grew up. One day reached us that relying on others is not only shameful, but disastrous: man degraded by refusing to bear the hardships of life on an equal basis with everyone else.

Personality discolored. Because it erodes something without which neither respect nor esteem. There is a boundary that you can not cross. Manipulators have overlooked it - and dropped out of the circle of people with whom you can and Met case.

What do those who do not wish to join the ranks of magicians and tricksters?

It can not sell something that is not subject to sale: compassion, pity, sympathy, affection? - To know a few simple truths. And first of all realize that we are letting themselves be manipulated. What it is not cheap curiosity pushes us in the tenth fall for lovkachki? ("What, you have not seen?")