To think or react?

"I'm trembling creature or the right have? "

How not to feel sorry for what had happened? What do we feel when we can not forgive yourself? How to deal with disappointment over the fact that he had done wrong?

Sometimes in problem situations it is necessary for some time to think as you do,

or what to say at the moment that is both consistent with \ "draw \" own image, and avoid the psychological trauma.

Typically, these points require an immediate response, otherwise the effect is lost. And then, after a while, when you start to drive again this case, you know how and what should have been done.

Here then comes shame, I want to go back and repeat, only to have the right to remain not insult or some other negative.

Is it possible to learn how to react in such uncomfortable situations at the level of reflex (which is said to be oneself) "This is a letter I found in my daily mail. And along with the author tried to investigate the problem.

To think or react?

The biggest problem of modern man - it overcontrol. The inability to trust yourself, your body, a situation and a desire to find the right solution. Of course, right from the point of view of reason. Quite often, the mind lies. Having built a complex system of protection and create the desired image, it "pulls" a man on him like a suit on a mannequin.

And that person is not strongly objected to, come up with completely objective excuses - it must be for a successful career, making a good impression, just be because Dad felt so right. Desired manner requires to be constantly on guard, lest, God forbid do not burst forth the true nature. While the standard situation and repeatedly worked out - no problem.

But should a person get into an unusual situation or a little more aggressive environment and comes screeching halt. The man knows how to want to respond, but prohibits itself. But control does not know because he has for such a situation there is no template, script, and just in case all blocks of the reaction. And the man did not seem timid, swallows tongue. And even worse, it is experiencing a mad fear.

How does this happen?

In terms of bodily therapist explained to a screeching halt just primitiveness. For bodily reactions - real, live, spontaneous - meets our intuitive sense-start (in part, the right hemisphere of the brain). And for analysis and control, ie, assessment of the situation - the rational.

At the time of high stress or a situation close to the threat to the life, the body takes over command of the mind (these are the cases where the sight of a bear-rod hunter climbs up a tree on the smooth trunk) and leads a person to the most correct from the point of view of protection psyche - decision.

So, no matter what you did when you were committed, say, the psychological attack - uttered nasty, good-naturedly laughed or corny escaped - for you it was the best solution, if understood by the release of no moment "fight", and the result for the next many years, and well after.

Things get worse when in a critical situation the person decides to suppress the spontaneous response in favor of controls. Here and begin these senseless questions, "What do I do, what to do, how will I look like? ". Relax, the body has already decided everything for you! You need only to release its momentum!

Where does this control?

It's very simple - from childhood we are taught to control his emotions, forgetting to explain that the emotions are different. And between, say, hysterical child in a toy store, and taken away the tears of resentment for older children bike is a huge gap.

And if the first is often no more than a reflection of promiscuity and hysterical parents, the second - the first collisions with human good and evil. Which later formed and the ability to react spontaneously and sincerely.

I will say more - the body and the unconscious is always better than we "guess" how to deal with the offender. Very educated girl Tatiana was in love with the elder Anton course, impregnable handsome heartthrob, the proud. The secret sighs and weary look passed two years until the end of the course Tatiana is called "went through" alcohol.

Anton released after rocking a pair of demure mocking expressions. Normally Tanya would be kept, and then the blood rushed to his head, and she swung splashed in the face of a loved champagne. And I almost fainted with horror, instantly sobered up and realized that I did. And an even greater stupor she fell when she saw that Anton smiling.

It turns out that the girls he most valued the disobedience and "chertovschinku" that suddenly manifested in Tatiana. From that day already, Anton gave Tanya a passage, and in the third year they were married.