Love addiction?

The reason is that this attraction is rooted in the feeling of inferiority. Forty-year woman who has gone through a period of acute grief, after the departure of her husband, said: "Only when I have my man, I feel confident, I feel like a complete person."

It is clear that it lacks its own sense of personal integrity. Her love can only love addiction. This case I told the lawyer that in court defending a young man who committed a murder attempt.

Twenty young man came to Moscow to learn from one of the neighboring countries. He has successfully enrolled in a technical college, and settled in the hostel. The institute immediately attracted his attention, one of the teachers, a woman older than him almost twenty years. As he told the lawyer, his passion for this woman broke out at once, and was comprehensive.

"I could not think of anything but her. I adored her, every moment imagine that we are together, I threw all the classes, with a beating heart kept watch her near the institute, at night went near her home. He wanted to die for it. It appears that someone attacked her, and I'm saving her life and died, and she looks at me with love. "

One day at a student party, he decided to ask her to dance, to speak about their feelings. The woman could not stand to see his relation to it a passionate and devoted as she felt the love. She invited him to his home, and he soon went to live with her. Their relationship lasted for about a year when she became burdened with a young lover, who became more and more jealous.

He ustaivayte her scandals because of its supposed link with other students, these showdowns, often ended in beatings. It was impossible to convince that his suspicions were groundless. She announced that she wanted to leave him.

Already on the court after he paid a woman heavy blows from which she almost died, he went on to say that he was confident in her infidelity, and build the whole chain of its conclusions, which he seemed to be convincing. However, he argued that still loves her, and would rather die than to live without it.

The prosecution in an attempt to deliberate murder was filmed, and were sentenced soft enough, the judges took into account the state of passion in which the crime was committed.

Comment

People with similar personality disorders often pay his passionate attachment to the person who can not take his allotted role in the relationship. In the case of this young man we see as a matter of passion, apparently, in his unconscious - The assistant mothers initially respond to the love of a young man.

But his love is able to instantly contact a deadly hatred for fear of losing the object of affection. Failure partner to continue the relationship, almost led to tragedy.

Victoria M.

I'm fifty-three years. She was married in his youth, but divorced her husband because of his addiction to alcohol. Many years spent in solitude. One day when I was forty years old, I met a man whom I am very attracted to, he was very independent and charming, passionate lover.

A month later, he went to his own town, and I soon discovered that she was pregnant. I told him about it, he said he was not ready to be a father. It was very painful and frightening, but I realized that this is the last chance to have a child, I wanted so much, and decided to give birth, no matter what. I'm a grown son, and never for a moment regretted the decision.

I lived for many years taking care of it, to bring up a full-fledged man, despite the fact that his father was not there. Now I can enjoy looking at it for what it is strong, beautiful, caring and has a very independent person. Now, when I realized that my son is ready to live his life, suddenly, he came to me with love.

This is not the morbid fascination that I had before, when I clung to her lover, trying to change it, ever been dissatisfied with themselves suffered. I realized that only now is ready to mature sense. He was fifty-seven, but we feel close to the young, and at the same time we understand each other as if lived together for a lifetime.

I think that in a sexual relationship with him the first time I was so free and open, I was as easy and good - it was fabulous. He went to Europe, we write letters to each other on the Internet, nobody knows when we will meet again, but I'm really happy.

For me, this love unspeakably precious, it's inside me, and my will, even if we part.

How to survive the period of acute pain from the loss of a loved one or beloved, if you threw?

There is an opinion that it is necessary to seek oblivion in new hobbies, traveling, communicating with friends, to relax in. Friends and family usually say "throw it out of my head, do not worry, forget and so on." From a psychological point of view, this is not completely true.

On the contrary, it is necessary to live all the feelings associated with the loss and resentment, and fear of loneliness and longing, hatred, desire to restore the old relationship and a desire for revenge - this is the usual range of emotions that are associated with the loss, and their pronunciation of and awareness gradually heals wounds loss.

Otherwise, the pain or become chronic, or leave in depth and will certainly manifest itself in the form of psychosomatic or neurotic symptoms.

Find someone who will listen to you and accept your feelings, friend, companion random, psychotherapist.

The psychologist-psychoanalyst

Elena Kalinina

The development of self-confidence

Then one weekend she attended a seminar where she learned how to imagine what she wants, and to establish themselves in the thought that she could do it. In her imagination did not obstacles, "I can not", and the reasons why it could not achieve what they wanted.

Instead, all she wanted was very close, and she just had to think about what steps she needed to take to start the process (for example, apply to certain trade organizations for the dissemination of her work, to develop some of the samples after the main work to as long as it will not have enough customers to go to work and create a package of photos of models that others can offer her work for sale).

The seminar provided an initial feeling of confidence that she can do it, if she would give all the power to achieving its goal, and as a result it no longer stop the obstruction, she threw up in order to avoid attempts and failures. Instead, she began to think creatively, she has to do at the moment, with limited means to budge case.

As a result, she immediately began to work to achieve their dreams, convinced that, in the end, to reach her. Svetlana is still working hard to achieve their goals, and she has a long way to go. But now she spends half of his time, creating patterns and achieving its goals, while working part-time secretary for his work.

She also feels confident in their abilities and more strengthened in its belief thanks to those who buy it samples. She also feels satisfied because now it is occupied by what he wants to do. In turn, what she is busy now, began with its initial confidence.

It is this sense of self-worth and self-confidence led her to work hard to achieve their goal. As Fyodor changed his life. Similarly Fyodor changed attitude to yourself to get a raise. He has worked in the accounting department a small consulting firm and thought that it unfairly treated during the last two revisions of the salary.

He was sure he deserved promotion, and it is particularly offended that the other employees who worked in the company less than it received a boost. Some got more solid position. A few months Fedor suffered in silence, and then he went to school, which is used technique power of the mind.

He began to think of all their positive qualities and what value it had the capacity for its employees. He also thought about what he should do to make their employees more appreciation for his abilities, and he realized that the staff attached great importance to the way their leaders look at work.

Thus, he realized that he needed to improve his appearance produced by dressing a little more elegant. In addition, he represented himself as he confidently asked the chief of the wage increase, explaining to him why he should raise his salary.

Fedor doing these exercises for about a week, and doing them, he felt more confident that he was going to do. He began to realize that he deserves a raise instead feel resentment because of what others have been promoted, and he - no.

In addition, he put a new well sewed suit and tie, which gave it a more authoritative look. Then, with confidence, based on an increased sense of self-esteem, Theodore turned to his boss.

He began to talk about the benefits that it brings to the company, how many years he showed his commitment and devotion to the great importance he attached a compromise solution, and that he hopes that the head will understand the validity of what he is going to offer. And in the end, he offered him a salary increase.

As a result of this careful preparation Fedor not only got a raise, but also received a boost in a few days. Chief Theodore suddenly saw in a different light, and that impressed him. He realized that Fedor can do more than it did before, and provided him with new opportunities in line with this.

On the other hand, changes in the life of Theodore, were the result of the fact that the first change its position. Fedor looked into his soul, to develop self-confidence and self-esteem. Then, these feelings have caused a change in his daily life.

I believe that the systematic work with exercises for technique strength of mind will help you achieve your goals and make your life happier.