Manipulation in communication

Any communication - is largely manipulation.

  All that we say on our idea should cause some reaction. Answering the question "How are you" - waiting for understanding, empathy, acceptance.

And when you do not get anything out of this ask a leading question such as "What do you think I done?" Extremely honest communication, devoid of manipulation in this case would have looked ridiculous, "Let me tell you how I'm doing, and I praise you? ".

In the case where one concept is replaced by another and there is manipulation in communication. When a person says one thing and means something quite different. Manipulation begins where logic ends and common sense. Manipulation is appealing to the senses.

There are many ways and forms of manipulation, but based on the fact on what our feelings play a manipulator, it can be divided into six main types.

6 types of manipulation in communication:

love.

As a child you were told: "If you're going to wriggle so, I will not love you." Though actually I had in mind: "Listen to me." Your man says to you: "You first stop biting his nails (to work, to go to her mother, read women's novels, every morning to cook hodgepodge ...), then we'll talk about the wedding."

Although actually has in mind: "I do not like it when you gryzesh nails." The boss says to you: "We are able to appreciate your employees, we have a friendly team of like-minded people. Therefore, rarely leaves our team on his own. " Although actually has in mind: "We are going to treat you well, if you work well"

Features of this manipulation

One of the most insidious and cruel manipulations, which are often used in homes. The child, accustomed to such treatment, is beginning to realize that the closest people do not take the whole thing, not like for what it is, but for what he is doing something or not doing.

In the partnership, such as conversations do not lead to anything good. Indeed, in this case, on one scale put the love, and the other a certain condition. It turns out that love - this is a product that, if necessary, can be exchanged for services or money.

fear.

As a child you were told: "Do not you do the lessons become a janitor." Though actually had in mind: "I do not know how you even get to do the lessons." Your man says, "If I will continue to work in this office, I will have a heart attack."

Although actually has in mind: "Get ready, I'll be fired" At work you say, "Masha, I immediately sent a resume of a very promising young officer. You have him just one profile. " But in fact they mean "no irreplaceable, gather, my dear."

Features of this manipulation

Using human fears - one of the most popular methods of manipulators of all types and stripes. Very often, they play on the lack of awareness of rights. Therefore, if you are a regular powder brains about some mythical dangers and urge to do something or other to avoid them - make inquiries.

Manipulation of self-doubt.

As a child you were told: "The Russian did you do, I see. And let's see what you do not get? ". Though actually I had in mind: "You are all the same no matter what is not capable, without my help."

Your man says to you: "You're going to eat at night cookies? Come on, come on. I'm still in the PC play ". Though actually I want to say: "I have the right to do what I want." At work, you are told: "Turn, please, a little text with the Chinese. Here's a dictionary, you have half an hour. " Though actually have in mind: "Do not bury, here I am the chief."

Features of this manipulation

Manipulation - it's always a question of power, and in this case it is most acute. "I - Head, you - fool" - so you can paraphrase most of the statements presented here. Problem chief manipulator (be it mother, father, boss, or president) is that it has no real authority, not the government, but wants it to be.

With him, of course, you can start playing the "giveaway" and flatter. But this flattery he will never be enough. It will be a while to calm down, and then again and again to seek confirmation of its viability at the expense of other people's weaknesses. However, he can manipulate you only if you are worried about your lack. Take yourself and your weaknesses, or get rid of them.

guilt.

As a child, you say: "Again won two in chemistry? Then I will wash the dishes. " But in fact they mean: "I am too lazy to wash the dishes, but uncomfortable to ask you about it." Your man says to you, "Veronica drank coffee while I'm here alone with a hungry child sitting? ".

Although in reality he has in mind: "Tomorrow I want to meet after work with Sergei, but you did not just let go, will be cut." At work, you say, "Take the day off today, do not worry, I'll do your work for you." But in fact they mean "a work I do, and then you remember this case."

Features of this manipulation

It is very common in family life, its frequent use leads to the fact that the husband and wife begin to play an exciting game - collecting other people's fault. Who is more scraped together, the won, he reads - obtained the rights to the realization of their secret desires. Although it is unclear why it is self-evident right to be won in such a strange and unpleasant way?

How does all this tired, or seasonal syndrome

In the morning we could hardly open his eyes, looking longingly at the dark window. And there again, the gray sky, cloudy day. Close to the eyes, turn to the wall and no one today do not see. All tired, have no desire to go to his job, with someone to meet, talk.

A terrible fatigue, apathy, complete unwillingness to do anything. Familiar symptoms, right?

There is no bad weather?

Well it is in winter or autumn, when the days are very short, and we live like moles in eternal darkness, without seeing the light of day. And in fact, and in the spring and summer ... endless cloudy days, rain pours from morning to evening - abyss of heaven opened wide. Or, conversely, could the sun not breaking through a thick curtain of smoke and fumes. Such longing ...

And there is a white light of God's chosen place where always shines and the warm sun! For many people, a change of season is becoming a serious problem. And when someone complains of a complete breakdown in the autumn or winter, it does not mean that people just naughty. In the cold season to work colleagues simply do not know.

Instead energetic optimists morning creep up some somnambulist, who then stay the whole day in a rage state. Their reaction to the assigned task often becomes inadequate, they are inhibited, animated rarely, only when a sweet and starchy foods on the dinner table, and communication with them is very difficult.

Seasonal depression - is a real disease, which in our climate intensified in November and subsides only in April. Its symptoms are almost always the same.

Constant fatigue, depressed mood, lack of balance, sometimes turning into aggressiveness, sleepiness, decreased performance, change in taste.

To all this added weight problems. Appeared extra weight angered even more, respectively, mood deteriorates day by day. As a result, you may receive the urge to consume alcohol - a foolish hope that wine can quench their grief.

They are not afraid of the cold, but the heat ...

Some people (although they are a minority) suffer from other problems. They suffer from depression in the summer. And the symptoms are no different from the winter version. As a rule, in March - June of their condition begins to deteriorate, and improvement comes only in August - October.

They just spoil the mood hot and sunny days. These sufferers can not do without air conditioning. This also happens. Simply, they do not live in their environments. So, the summer holidays it is best done in the North, where they can enjoy the fresh air and bathe in cold rivers and lakes.

hibernation

According to the scientists of the University of Vienna, 13% of the population of Central Europe suffer from seasonal depression mild and 4% hard to carry the disease. And the doctors themselves admit that these figures did not accurately reflect the real picture: many potential patients do not go to the doctor, finds repulsive mood normal state, the same as in others.

If the European countries, where the sun with a visit pleases people more often, so a high percentage of people exposed to this melancholy, what to talk about our country! Scientists believe the cause of sleepiness is a lack of sunlight, because of what is happening unbalance the natural rhythms of the body.

In winter, when the days are getting shorter, the hands of our internal clock "translated" a few turns ago. This is a serious stress another "winter" problem resulting in the same manner as the heat and lack of vitamins, a reduction of protective functions. At nightfall, in the human body increases the concentration of melatonin.

For a long time about it, nothing was known. Only in the mid-70s of the XX century by the development of radioimmunoassay technology an opportunity to detect this substance in the blood. It was found that melatonin has a sedative effect. At night, its concentration is 5-10 times higher than in the daytime.

Usually it begins to stand out at nightfall, about eight o'clock in the evening, and reaches its highest point in two or three o'clock in the morning. Then again, the amount is reduced with seven in the morning until eight at night again remains low. But in December, at half past three days as dark as the summer at ten o'clock in the evening, then, tired and feeling before. In addition, we go to work, when still quite dark, and the days are cloudy ...

No one is safe ...

Seasonal depression is observed in all parts of the world men and women of different ages. But most of all, perhaps, it exposed the so-called women of childbearing age. Especially hard for those who often have to change the time mode, on duty round the clock, to work at night or sit up in the morning, doing urgent work.

This condition is well known to members of the crews of airships, emergency doctors, shift workers. People these professions are constantly act contrary to their biological rhythm. Not by chance many of them suffer from seasonal depression.

German researchers from the Trade Union of Health and charity (BGW) drew attention to the fact that the number of industrial accidents increases in the autumn.

Of course, part of some problems occur due to deteriorating weather conditions, but without a doubt, a great role to play, and psychological factors. In cold weather, the main causes of work-related injuries are most often fatigue, confusion, poor concentration and inattention.

Light therapy

For those who are particularly difficult to tolerate autumn and winter depression, doctors may assign light therapy. This treatment has been known since antiquity. Today, applied and natural (sun) and artificial light therapy. As is known, light is an electromagnetic wave of three ranges: the infrared, visible, and ultraviolet.