Shyness is treated?

Shyness is treated?

Shy people are very unsure of themselves, which often becomes the cause of various problems.

Is it possible to deal with their major problem, in fact shyness?

Scientists noticed oxytocin, the natural "hormone embrace", which is released into the brain during sex.

For a long time, doctors have used it to induce childbirth and stimulate the emergence of milk in new mothers.

Now it is believed that this hormone can be used as a medicine that helps to change some traits, such as shyness.

Additionally, oxytocin is also able to help with depression and autistic children.

According to electronic media.

To think or react?

"I'm trembling creature or the right have? "

How not to feel sorry for what had happened? What do we feel when we can not forgive yourself? How to deal with disappointment over the fact that he had done wrong?

Sometimes in problem situations it is necessary for some time to think as you do,

or what to say at the moment that is both consistent with \ "draw \" own image, and avoid the psychological trauma.

Typically, these points require an immediate response, otherwise the effect is lost. And then, after a while, when you start to drive again this case, you know how and what should have been done.

Here then comes shame, I want to go back and repeat, only to have the right to remain not insult or some other negative.

Is it possible to learn how to react in such uncomfortable situations at the level of reflex (which is said to be oneself) "This is a letter I found in my daily mail. And along with the author tried to investigate the problem.

To think or react?

The biggest problem of modern man - it overcontrol. The inability to trust yourself, your body, a situation and a desire to find the right solution. Of course, right from the point of view of reason. Quite often, the mind lies. Having built a complex system of protection and create the desired image, it "pulls" a man on him like a suit on a mannequin.

And that person is not strongly objected to, come up with completely objective excuses - it must be for a successful career, making a good impression, just be because Dad felt so right. Desired manner requires to be constantly on guard, lest, God forbid do not burst forth the true nature. While the standard situation and repeatedly worked out - no problem.

But should a person get into an unusual situation or a little more aggressive environment and comes screeching halt. The man knows how to want to respond, but prohibits itself. But control does not know because he has for such a situation there is no template, script, and just in case all blocks of the reaction. And the man did not seem timid, swallows tongue. And even worse, it is experiencing a mad fear.

How does this happen?

In terms of bodily therapist explained to a screeching halt just primitiveness. For bodily reactions - real, live, spontaneous - meets our intuitive sense-start (in part, the right hemisphere of the brain). And for analysis and control, ie, assessment of the situation - the rational.

At the time of high stress or a situation close to the threat to the life, the body takes over command of the mind (these are the cases where the sight of a bear-rod hunter climbs up a tree on the smooth trunk) and leads a person to the most correct from the point of view of protection psyche - decision.

So, no matter what you did when you were committed, say, the psychological attack - uttered nasty, good-naturedly laughed or corny escaped - for you it was the best solution, if understood by the release of no moment "fight", and the result for the next many years, and well after.

Things get worse when in a critical situation the person decides to suppress the spontaneous response in favor of controls. Here and begin these senseless questions, "What do I do, what to do, how will I look like? ". Relax, the body has already decided everything for you! You need only to release its momentum!

Where does this control?

It's very simple - from childhood we are taught to control his emotions, forgetting to explain that the emotions are different. And between, say, hysterical child in a toy store, and taken away the tears of resentment for older children bike is a huge gap.

And if the first is often no more than a reflection of promiscuity and hysterical parents, the second - the first collisions with human good and evil. Which later formed and the ability to react spontaneously and sincerely.

I will say more - the body and the unconscious is always better than we "guess" how to deal with the offender. Very educated girl Tatiana was in love with the elder Anton course, impregnable handsome heartthrob, the proud. The secret sighs and weary look passed two years until the end of the course Tatiana is called "went through" alcohol.

Anton released after rocking a pair of demure mocking expressions. Normally Tanya would be kept, and then the blood rushed to his head, and she swung splashed in the face of a loved champagne. And I almost fainted with horror, instantly sobered up and realized that I did. And an even greater stupor she fell when she saw that Anton smiling.

It turns out that the girls he most valued the disobedience and "chertovschinku" that suddenly manifested in Tatiana. From that day already, Anton gave Tanya a passage, and in the third year they were married.

Are we able to be yourself?

Buddha can correctly say that all human suffering stems from his desire. If the desire is not satisfied, a person is unhappy. You are fighting, struggling, sometimes suffer. And it does not think about what might be, it does not really ... your desire.

People do not come to psychologists, when they feel good. They come when they feel bad. They come with problems. And any problem - is unsatisfied desire. It is a conflict between what is there and what he wants.

"What is maturity? If you ask me about it, so I will answer; maturity - a clear understanding of what you have to be yourself and not someone else copy. Looking at myself, if you find such maturity? "You imitate others. Someone new machine starts imitation. Someone more of your house. Neighbors constantly test your nerves. They get it that it is, and you have to chase them ...

You can achieve the purpose of committing a dangerous journey, putting a lot of effort and spend the time and energy to result in a sudden discover: "I never wanted this! It was the ideal of another man borrowed me. " (Master Osho, "No water, no moon")

All of us are brought up since childhood on the principle that we must consider what we think about other people. This is natural, because man does not live on a desert island. The opinion of others may not be important for us - we are somehow dependent on others, while others depend on us, or else run the risk of simply left alone.

Sometimes, however, the impact of the outside world to us and our desires becomes excessive. In this case, the balance between "I want" and "want more" broken, and "I want" is transformed into "I want to." Media, cinema, theater, literature, magazines do not remain on the sidelines and imprint in our minds the images of life that we somehow now taking over. Something we like something - not very.

But - the model proposed, so we can get into the role, that come out of it becomes very difficult, if not impossible. We are so accustomed to these illusions about his life, he did not even ask "how do I know how I have to live? ". How do you know that the life that you have right now - it's your life, but not an idea imposed on you from outside?

"You know, now hang throughout the city billboards deodorant" Reksona ", with which we are smiling Zhanna Friske, and signature" Be perfect. Everyday". That every time I see this ad, telling her (Zhanna Friske): "Yes ..." (Anna, 22)

There is still time. Among the people taken not show a very close friend, that we are fine. We try not to show the people that we have a bad mood, and allow it to see only our loved ones who, from this mood, and most of all goes.

We are ashamed to be rude, tired, gloomy, dull, irritated at the people and hide all these feelings in his soul, and his face - smile. This approach does not bring anything except irritation and fatigue, because it is difficult to feel one inside and another outside. This disharmonious.

And yet there is a feeling that people do not understand our feelings. And how can they understand if we do not show their true feelings? Guess they say himself / herself. Actually, I would, of course, we have to understand at a glance, poluvzglyada, anticipate and apprehended our desires. This ability we call sensitivity. And we appreciate it very much.

But what if we wait for the understanding of the same, as we are, tired of waiting, and the understanding of man? If we do not cry when we want to cry and tried to restrain himself - perhaps our neighbor does the same thing?

We do not rejoice when you want to jump up to the ceiling, and a crooked grins myself and say something like "normal." OK. We are all OK. We are ashamed of their emotions, as if it were something dirty and inappropriate. What do we get in return? No wonder if the same thing. All OK polite aloofness.

Of course, we are defending ourselves. From others, which can potentially cause pain, and from ourselves, because we can feel that same pain. We know that anger - is bad, aggression - it is bad, so it must be fought, and this is in the soul begins a war between the anger and the desire to comfort her.

But anger is not going anywhere, and larger and larger spiritual forces are sent into battle. A huge amount of energy poured into this battle, and the anger of this infusion is reinforced because she, like us, does not like to put pressure on it.

Jealousy - it hurts, and here we are, to not feel the pain, trying to nip in the bud the jealousy, but this only increases its pressure. Love makes us weak, and we are beginning to struggle with love.

Our soul is always a war going on between the senses and our mind, which is trying to restore order. It is not possible - in a sense, put things in order, as we imagine. The mind can not control what occurs in response to the principles that are in him. It's just like we can not control your breathing, but can only hold him for a short time.

Like attracts like. If people believe in themselves, in their own strength and their capabilities, he will find in the world around him confirm his confidence, and will become happier and more confident.

Converse is also true - if we are insecure, any little thing can only strengthen our opposition. And we would be glad if this - "Well, things are bad, I thought so."

But ask yourself the question, "Why do I think" we try not always. We observe certain rituals dictated by our understanding of how to. We seem to create for themselves their own religion. But this religion - is it us? "Ritual - not religion. The ritual - the most anti-religious thing in the world.

You are unique, remember this! And something unique to happen to you, is what does not happen again, ever. Not only are your fingerprints are unique - your soul is unique. "

We have to constantly surpass themselves and their capabilities - so made our world today. But we are bound to fail if we do not know who we want to beat - if we do not know ourselves. What to do? How to come to himself? Listen to what is going on in you right now.

Try to ask yourself, "three questions the Buddha," What do I feel? What am I thinking? What do I want? Right here and now. In every moment of your life.

Stop for a moment. Look in the mirror. Do you think this person really deserves attention? The only thing you deserve, so it is to be yourself. Of course, if you do want it. Right here and now.

The article contains excerpts from the book "Zen Buddhism" V. Petrova,