Most likely, this context concerns the scope of relationships with other people. Or some other context. Not that important. It is important that this person has a certain life experience, in which he feels sufficiently confident.
Maybe he surely knows how to dig a vegetable garden. Or steadily rowing oars. Maybe he confidently runs for cockroaches. Or something else. Whatever happens, there is always some kind of experience in which a person is influenced by the quality needed him in some other situation. Therefore, from the standpoint of a good psychological work, you just need to help a person learn how to use the resources that they already have.
Hypnosis, ESP - cease to hope that someone will climb inside you, and it will change everything!
Maybe there are some cases where you need a strong influence someone else, but even in this case do not get addicted to this effect on all life.
Learn how to work with yourself. In the end, one of the most important goals in life is to find inner self-sufficiency.
Note: If you suddenly turned so that your personal experience is not the quality that you need, then it does not matter! Think of any person who has this quality. And closely monitor its behavior in different situations: how it communicates with other people, how decisions are made, how it behaves in critical situations, such as rest, etc.
Try to notice all the little things: Features gestures, tone of voice, pace and tone of his voice, the nature of the gait. Now visualize that you become them. Realize very good as it feels like looking at the world.
Now you can think about what you would do in a difficult situation for you as this man. Just Lose her whole story, thinking about how and what you will do. Later in life you can just think about how to be in your place did this man.
Just do not forget to introduce yourself first this man, trying to get used to very good in its way. By doing this experience periodically, so you will master the qualities of character that you do not have.
Congratulations - you have mastered the technology of access to the resources of other people and thus gained more freedom! An important detail in this process is your respect for the person from whom you want to adopt this or that quality.
Be inwardly grateful to this man. Without such a mood, you will not be able to develop their quality. On the small karmic level lock will occur. The described model of development at those or other qualities of the other person are using the children.
When they grow up, then imitate adults. Girls playing in "Mothers and Daughters", and the boys in the "cops and robbers." Thus, the first gain experience maternal tenderness, wisdom, mindfulness, and the second - the quality of determination, commitment and ability to stand up for themselves.
We are by nature inherent in the ability to imitate others. It is given to us so that we can expand the scope of his personal experience. Without it, we simply grew up and were formed as the adults. As a child, we are actively used this power.
This was itself influenced by internal instincts. As adults, it is necessary to do it consciously. Look at the quality of other people that are not you. And learn from them!
Thus the whole world will open for you a variety of opportunities for your growth and development.
And it is - a different life experience than the experience all the time to think that someone you something is Doda. Is not it?
Sincerely, Oleg Gadetsky
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Reliable protection from hurtful words
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Reliable protection from hurtful words
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6. Do not mind. Agree with everything.
If the wife says, "I think you recovered ten kilograms, dear", replied: "At twelve, to be precise." If she does not retreat: "Well, what are you going to do with being overweight? "- Try it this way:" Nothing, I guess. Just Stay a while the fat man. " Offensive remarks much as much as you do gives him strength. While agreeing with the criticism, you disarms critics.
7. Ignore the shot.
Listen to comment, tell yourself that it is not at the address, and forget. Forgiveness - is one of the most important abilities that help us to live and that we can develop in themselves. If you are not quite ready to forgive, let them know saying that his remark heard, but no answer. The next time you let go taunt, wipe with shirts imaginary spot.
When the person who hurt you, ask what you do, say, "I thought me something horrible, but I probably made a mistake." When the offender knows that you, too, you know, it becomes a much more cautious. Or pretend you're not interested. Blink, yawn and turn away, as if to say: "Who cares? "People can not stand where they are considered boring.
8. Add the 10 percent.
You can never fully protect yourself from offensive remarks. Try to perceive some of them as a natural manifestation of irritation that happen at all. Most of us are careful not to offend others, but sometimes we make mistakes.
So to defend, when you consider it necessary, but think also of the "10 percent rule":
- 10 percent of the cases it turns out that you bought the thing elsewhere cheaper.
- 10 percent of thing that you lent to someone, comes back to you damaged.
- 10 percent of the cases, even your best friend can say something without thinking and later regret having said.
In other words, growing thicker skin. It is usually easier to assume that people are trying to do as best you can, and many people simply do not realize how their behavior affects others.
Always keep the defense to prove his innocence and to control the situation - too expensive. Try to forgive, and in return you get a lot less resentment and trouble than the notorious 10 percent.
When a man insulted the Buddha, he said: "My son, if anyone refuses to accept the gift, then to whom he belongs? "" The one who gives, "- said the man. - So, - I continued the Buddha - I refuse to accept your offensive words.
The world is full of people who belittle others to assert themselves. Do not take offense, even when you showered them as gifts of love.
Not paying attention to them, you relieve tension, strengthen your relationships with others and make your life more joyful.
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What is the offense and how to cope with it
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What is the offense and how to cope with it
Page 2
Because some of our thoughts are very bright and kind, they can help to become happier and more open to a little happiness and love to all those whom we love !!! In general, we are strange creatures, men. The mysterious and strange. But it is very interesting. It never ceases to amaze how we all like each other.
Surprisingly, I read books, articles, stories and see that the authors represent me and my thoughts. Maybe I'm not ready to tell them to the world, but also come to this. I have something to say and something to share. The only thing that interferes with - it is the fear of being misunderstood, condemned. Fear does not justify the hopes. No, rather than someone else's, but yours.
I now understand that we live only for themselves and the people close to us. Outsiders should not and can not hurt us if we do not want, if you do not allow to do it. And if you allow, then it means that we are not yet strong enough to deal with the world of contradictions, then, we are not yet ready to recognize themselves as individuals, as something special, which is worthy of love, happiness and all the best.
It happens the other way, that we do not understand the people closest. Then we feel that we are unloved, undervalued, suffer from complexes, and the like. This is a misconception, but many do not have the courage to admit that we are what we are, what God created us and has just so we have a right to their own opinion.
Go ahead and succeed !!! Otherwise simply can not be. After all, each of us is the most valuable - our inner world. This whole universe is without edges and without end. It all according to our own laws. This is our strength and our identity. After all, only the inner world we can not take one. We decide what part of yourself to give loved ones what to change, alter, decorate. We ourselves create your world and your life!
In many cases, can be life: circumstances change, people change, that surround us. Yes, a lot of things in my life. After all, life - it is a river that has its course and direction. We are also changing, our soul, our inner world. But one thing is important - no matter what happens, we are left on their own, as long as we wish. Our heart and soul is living the life that we choose for ourselves.
And let our lives appear only those people who we want to reveal our souls, help us to understand our heart and see our own wonderful world - a world of our souls! Let it be the people we admit to himself in the world, and whose world we will also be important and interesting. In my head there was only one unresolved question is: are we prepared to do to understand the other person? Can we confidently say that?
Will we be able to take on such a responsibility, the responsibility for our desire to solve the other person without causing him pain and disappointment? If it is difficult sometimes to understand themselves, how much more difficult to understand the other! And if we are to be honest, it is not always and not everyone we can and, most importantly, we want to understand! Why is that? Why do not we?
Very simple. The fact is that everything in our lives, we are measuring themselves, their feelings and understanding of the world, about people, about things in general. This sometimes gives us a narrow view, not the full picture. We just want to find and look for your own reflection in everything it touches, with what face in life. We are so easy, so it is more convenient and easier. Everything seems clear and simple.
And if you encounter difficulties, you sometimes do not seek to resolve them, and to understand why all this way and not another, but simply moving away from solving the problem, turn a blind eye. We forget that we can not understand everything, but measuring with you? In many things in life we need a deeper look, look the part, detached, even though sometimes on us !!!
Why do we sometimes do not want to understand others? I think most of us are just very focused on themselves, their desires and needs. Therefore, sometimes we just forget the most important thing: if you want to get more out of life, you need to learn a lot to give! It is such a law.
In another way, it can not be and never will. The fact that everything is constructed by law fairness. And if we want to understand and warmth of the people, we must learn to understand others and to be able to give them your warmth, learn to give and expect nothing in return. It is our selfless and kind attitude to the world to make us happy and give us what we expect and dream about what we deserve!
Remember the well-known commandment: treat people the way you want them to treat you! And I add: attitude to the world the way you want him to treat you.
And then, the world will respond to you in kind. And your life will love and warmth, and understanding, and happiness! After all, this dream of every one of us. And the dream is known to come true!
