What is the offense and how to fight us. Resentment - a mixture of aggression facing the inside and outside. The most agonizing component of any of our offense when, as they say, hooked - this is when you realize that the offender's rights. And the more this component - the stronger and more
offense. Roughly speaking, do not hurt us, we offend themselves.
We are offended by the fact that unconsciously agree with some quasi-bad deed (or judgment) in the address. The less offended component of aggression, facing inward, the less it - hurt, and the more - namely aggression, depressed and clear desire to "fight back."
All touchy. Just all its Sensitive point, its "theme." Offend can be striking a person is in a place in which is concentrated the largest number of "nerves", relatively speaking. In the "subject" in which he himself had the maximum number of confusion, uncertainty and questions to himself.
The easiest and most effective way to cope with the offense, if not completely free from resentment, then, at least, to weaken it - to express their feelings. At least - to admit to myself, "Yes, I'm offended," and try to figure out what is so badly hooked? As a maximum - should express the hurt and the offender himself.
Unfortunately, this method is usually difficult to achieve. It would not be quite right to say that some people are easier to recognize his own wrong, and the other is heavier. All hard to admit his own wrong, "tied" to some of these sensitive topics. The painful topic for the person, the harder it was to her to behave appropriately.
And if you realize that you made a certain carelessness, rudeness, or was wrong - is your theme or is a person associated with this theme, then just to be polite and well-mannered, easy to apologize. Because this action is not related to us with some difficult internal step, almost a feat.
As for feats, here, of course, there are heroes. But few of them, as in war. The most important and most painful to admit they were wrong only a few are capable. This requires real courage.
Oddly enough, but many resent the fact that they just got tired of listening to any definite statements, and the other person simply can not understand it.
In any case, you should always think about it, if you're someone offended or hurt you - the problem is not one person, and it is to be understood.
Thinking should be positive!
Recently a friend of mine made a good idea - "You're a pessimist, begin to think positively and you will succeed! ". And, you know, she was right ... not that I used to have something not work, but negative thoughts visited very often. Unfortunately, the "positive thinking" - not so easy.
Especially when set, initially, a negative way, failures ... There are many ways to adjust their thinking to the positive. I'll tell you about some of the who have tried myself, and that really helped me.
1. Feng Shui
Philosophy comfortable life. Feng Shui gives you a lot of tips on how to live well, how to build their own space, both radiate happiness, how to attract money. Of course, some advice is very commonplace, but many of them are useful. If you think - is a rational decision to throw out all the old home will ease your sleep (ie, clear a space in which you rest) - and as a consequence, improve your health.
And so it follows that you are happy, happy, and whole-heartedly go to work, you will radiate peace and happiness. Of course, not everything has to be brought into life, but after reading the book, you start to think that it's not so bad, and that a simple rearrangement of furniture in the house of your health and well-being will improve. In fact -
faith - it is really secured positive in your life.
2. Carried away Aromatherapy
And nice and helpful. For example - buy aroma lamp, and a couple of aromatic oils. Buy aromamedalon and scented candles. The properties of essential oils are very multifaceted. Some of them have - stimulating some adaptogenic and some relaxing properties.
For example, if you are in an unassembled, "jelly-like" state - of inactivity, monotony, etc., then you need to stimulating scents - cedar, lemon, rosemary, camphor, ginger oil ... They will help to bring your body into a zone of optimal efficiency and smooth mood. If you are overworked, it is not desirable to use fragrances stimulating - they are no longer degrade performance. Then you need soothing, relaxing aromas - they will return your body tone and mood of the optimum zone.
This oil of lavender, pine, geranium, sandalwood, jasmine. If you are not sure of the status and characteristics of the body and spirit, you can use oil-adaptogens. They will have a normalizing effect on the central nervous system and adjust our state. This is the essential oils of peppermint, ylang-ylang, rosewood, petit Grein, mandarin and garlic. If lethargy and apathy aromateratiya recommends inhaling essential oils of jasmine, patchouli, rosemary, rose, lavender. I check for yourself. It Helps. Helpful and pleasant.
3. MEDITATION
Meditative practices can cause a lot of positive energy. To improve health, to attract positive energy to release negative - for all this, there are many different methods of meditation. Engaging with this process in your life POSITIVE help you learn to relax, be more collected, charged with energy, and more efficient.
Well, if you really believe this method, you will learn how to build your aura so that to protect themselves from negative external factors "interfere with life." Naturally, this method is not 100% positive, but it is also useful and practical, and most importantly - does not take a lot of time, and teaches self-control.
4. Psychology
It's not such a useful and easy way to learn how to think positively, but very effective in terms of positive communication with people. Read the book: D. Carnegie, Z.Freyd, Friedrich Nietzsche. Nowadays, there are many useful books "How to earn a lot of money", "How to start a business", "15 tips to build your life right," and many other literary materials in which a lot of useful tips. All of them will help you gain experience and start to think only of achieving their goals.
5. Creativity
Engage in self-realization. If you do not like your lifestyle, and you would like it to diversify, go do something creative. For example, begin to paint, embroider, cut wood, sewing. There are many different activities to suit every taste - every man for himself could find something.
This may take time, but that it will please you and those around you - that's for sure. But you'll find much use your wild imagination and spend too much time. Success will cause you a sense of joy and positive customize luck. All these little enthusiasm brighten up your life, and can help you find yourself.
Maybe you do not find yourself in these five points is nothing that would interest you, but in any case - there are many other activities that will set you on a positive footing. I have tried everything listed above, and believe me, help.
How to love yourself?
Do I have to love yourself? On this issue there is perhaps only one correct answer. And the answer is "yes." The life is very very important to love, respect and appreciate yourself, because only in this case we also will love and respect others, but in this case we have the strength of the fact, to cope with the big problems of life, stress, pressure.
After all, it is love that saves everything. How to learn to love yourself? Where to begin?
1. Start with a love for itself
Right this minute, start to change his mind about itself, developing a good, respectful attitude. Since then, the start longer trust yourself, to rely on themselves, respect their opinions, value yourself. Do not underestimate yourself and do not reduce your abilities and opportunities in front of others.
From this moment say only positive things about yourself, because the idea - the material, speaking of himself negatively, we will attract this negativity in your life! Look face it-you because talented, smart, unique, remember this. Of course, fostering love and respect for yourself, you should not rush into extremes and cultivate arrogance around looking for a middle ground.
2. Analyze your past and start from scratch
Whose opinion, whose thoughts, arguments in your head ?? If not yours and not the people you value, then throw someone else's opinion of you out of my head! You are a grown man, and themselves can make decisions and draw conclusions.
Write down on paper all that you have learned about yourself from your parents, people close to you, friends and record all the most important, in your opinion, the view, and then determine for yourself what of the above you makes you feel uncomfortable, makes you think bad about himself.
Consider, for whatever reason, someone responded negatively about you (perhaps it was simply out of jealousy, envy, do not think). Then take a pen and cross out all the negativity that you have written, forget it, laugh at it. Take a new sheet of paper and write down what you think about yourself right now.
3. For what we ourselves can love?
Digging a well, each of us will find many reasons why he can love yourself. We can love ourselves already, because we are in this world, we are unique, these people are no more.
We can love ourselves for our achievements in different spheres of life, for our personality, for the goals set and are sure to reach for something that is not forgotten how to dream, with the will to win, etc.
Make yourself a sheet, for what you love yourself. Every time you stay in dejection or doubt yourself will read aloud what is written on paper.
4. Rejoice yourself
You can answer, when was the last time you pulled yourself out to lunch with friends in a pleasant place, when was the last time you did something nice for yourself? Can not so immediately and answer ?! So if you do not love yourself, how can you expect it from other people? Pamper yourself with pleasant trifles, holiday wherever you want good food, good company.
5. Take care of your appearance, health
Take care of yourself, eat well, get enough sleep and rest. Pay attention to your appearance (clothes, shoes, hair, nails), the place Pick up the flavors.
