The love story I still love you

We met outside the shop, which was located about fifty meters from my house.
- Where did you spend the money? You always short! - Attacked me Victor.
- Count ... - I could only utter, but he interrupted me.
- Yes, I count ?! I have five thousand a week is enough for food and cigarettes - he brought his argument.
- I've got two thousand, and it is not only food and cigarettes - bewildered I said softly. Do not go to a fortune teller, I became a burden to him.
The money went into the plurality of the road, expensive to live between the two cities, and to the bird well spent, I remained "crumbs" that I spent on cosmetics, and only the most necessary, and as a result, for food they had little. I did not enjoy "hanging around his neck," but the choice I do not. No doubt, once the choice appears, I will use it! Aloud, I do not say that in vain to shake the air? Victor gave me two thousand, for some reason, it seemed that "the principle", and left. Unpleasant sensations after this conversation, I threw in the end he is not obliged to keep me, but the work was still dull, so dear to both of us will have to wait.
Krymsk was all the same: parents, Birdie, collecting documents for a divorce, but the fuss did not help me to forget about it, even for a moment .  Finally, the last piece of paper for a divorce has been issued and the date of hearing scheduled .  Less than three weeks in my passport will be another stamp .  Late September pleased the hottest of days, cool nights but were forced to think about, it's time to be warmed .  All the demi-season clothes remained in the house "almost ex-husband," and that's an opportunity to take it away: father-in-law drove off to Turkey .  Knowing that Alex will not prevent me, and using distractedness owners of the house, I grabbed all the things that were there, but the problem with "nothing to wear" is not decided in the boots and a raincoat as it was too early to go .  The parents in this matter I could not help, they paid their studies my brother dearly now studying at the academy .  Victor certainly helped, leave money on the table while I was .  For the first time in three years, I went to buy clothes for themselves itself, until then always in-law decided that I would wear .
As always, he arrived in Krasnodar, I waited for his call to the half-starved condition, but my patience for a long time was not enough, and I started coming up with an excuse to call itself:
- Hi, - with bated breath, stammering, I said that on the other end picked up.
- Hi, - I heard his voice.
- Vit, I probably need a microwave oven, - I began uncertainly, it was just an excuse.
- What for? - He was surprised.
- Like what? Meals to warm - I smiled.
- You blew my mind that you do not need it! Here, she took a pan, covered lid and cook! - Really I can do something to blow up the brain, in turn, I was surprised. We have exchanged a few words, he said that he would come either today or tomorrow. He arrived in the morning, I do not have time to wash as he rang the bell.
- Come, - I heard his voice that he was smiling, and his "exit" means that he will not come to me.
- No, you can not do this to me !! - Sorry I cried because I miss you, my love !!!
- In terms of? - With a touch of bewilderment he asked.
- Oh, nothing - I slipped off topic. When I went outside, he laughed, seeing my sleepy look. Tells us together was absolutely nothing, despite the fact that the questions I have for him had plenty, so, as usual, silently smoking, occasionally exchanging empty phrases.
- Semka be? - Said Victor. I silently shook her head, looking painfully in mind the topic of conversation. Where did all my vocabulary? Dokurennaya cigarette fell on the ground, Victor fumbled in his pocket and handed me five thousand.
- Is that a prize at the end of the month? - I was surprised. He just smiled and comment on my attack did not.
He will soon be his birthday. What to give the man who has, in principle, everything is there, on his own money? The task ... The decision came suddenly. Once again leaving in Krymsk, I whiled away the time at the bus station waiting for their bus, considered all sorts of souvenir trinkets type. Lighter with electroshock impressed me, and it is necessary to try everything yourself! But it was scratch and other such no more. As I said, the city I still do not really know, but desperately trying to remember where I had seen a similar shop with all sorts of stuff. Memory is not rescued me, I walked half of the tram route, but never found the right shop. Nothing to do, I had to buy the most. I left it on the windowsill and left, hoping that he will not enter the apartment before my arrival.
Again trial .  So time passed, it is time to have a divorce .  I do not like to be late, so I came before the appointed time .  And even more I do not like to wait, but I had - someone trial delayed .  The phone rang .  Vitya .  Asked "how are you" and "you can congratulate me with another stamp" .  It is strange that call, but the mood, which, incidentally, was so good, soared even higher .  As it turned out, the divorce process took five minutes of time .  Everything, all thanks, all free! And I wanted to sing and dance, because we have phoned twice! How little a person need to be happy! To you simply have expressed interest, and you're already starting to build castles in the air .  So what that the air, but they are here and now! Here and now I'm going to smile, and here and now I can see the reflection of the clouds in puddles here and now I love it and I'm happy .  It is a pity that this state is short .  Learn to enjoy every detail in spite of, or because of all, more often than was the case with me lately .
When arrived in Krasnodar, I went into the apartment, I immediately scanned the area for the "guests". You can breathe, no one was there. Check your gift, it is the same as I left it. Well, now we are waiting for the "arrival". A few days later he showed up. I opened the door and immediately slipped into the kitchen, he turned his back so as not to give themselves diligently pretending that I desperately need to wash the dishes. All peculiar curiosity and Victor is not an exception.
- Oh, what's this - I heard a cry, - ah, bl.. !!
- This is for you - smiling from ear to ear, I said, - Happy Birthday!
Vitya was very embarrassed, yes, captures or conveys, and "we" is always controlled everything. This gift you will remember for a long time! He left it there on the window sill, with the words "I do not like when people around me so nervous." Well, he does not like, why do you like it when I get nervous? This again was just my thoughts out loud, I did not say anything. Why waste time on words? After all, there are more pleasant things that can not get enough of this time, I was a little ...
Life in me woke up only when they met him, everything else I barely touched, and this "breath of fresh air" after ... enough for a couple of days .  With all the other circumstances, I simply put up - "Well, my mom is mad, all right, here I go to a meeting, so she was quieter," and most of the time spent with the bird in Krymsk, to avoid another mother's emotional cataclysm .  At one of my visits to Krasnodar Victor invited me to "chat with a beer, crawfish and his friends" .  How I wanted to say YES! But my mouth flew off "a tempting offer, but I can not," because the day of "get-togethers" I should be in Krymsk .  And like even corner of my eye to see "his world"! See it is given the circumstances in which we had somehow turned .  After all, I felt that both of us pulling together magnet, with the only difference being that he was struggling for some unknown reason, resisted .  Or me all this 'fad' .
It seemed to me that our meetings are constantly getting warmer and closer, and I wait for the next little bustard. But when I returned to the city, I was in for a surprise: there were guests in the apartment, at least two people and did not have to be Sherlock Holmes to figure out that one of them was a "brunette in a pink blouse!" And I still wondered, why is he suddenly rang while I was in the parents, well, of course, to clarify my position on the edge of the map! It touched as trying to cover up the traces of their stay: sheets, unlike the first, "still life", was neatly spread out, hairpin lying in the same place, near the pillows. Just do not wash the floors for you! These hair with pink thread were everywhere, in the bathroom along the way she carefully combed carefully too !!!
I wore gloves, bed carried to the wash, poured a bucket of water and dirty swearing obscenities, began to gather on a wet rag consequences of the fall of beriberi, which gave rise to this monstrous vegetation molting! Honestly thought that I was calm when to restore order in the surrounding area, this order comes in the head. Alas, I clocked myself even more. Stop. You're just like him, and he'll just help. And everything else you come up with myself. My inner dialogue with a cigarette and coffee lasted until nightfall, but to nothing lead. I left it at that, because the idea to leave until now has caused unbearable pain. Let it be so.
This time, Victor appeared. In impotent rage, missing him, I met with my "friends" on the site that somehow distracted, at the same time expand their horizons in terms of work, more affirming that I needed more education. Higher pedagogical, amidst all this commerce, not the channel. On the other hand, here I bring the bird can not. Even if I work out what to do with the garden? Victor tried to help me, and, as it turned out, the permit "is a lot of money." I was curious how much for him "a lot" to this question, he did not let me elaborate answer. Whatever strain of his own problems, I refused to help. I think of something later.
Two weeks passed like one very long day, in constant expectation of even lines from it. And oddly enough, that day has come. "Hello," a simple and banal word in his performance caused me indescribable tumult of emotions. "Can I come to you today? "" Since when do you bother to ask? I'm always glad to see you "- with trembling fingers I typed response message. How I missed you!
He walked into the apartment, and despite the overcast day, the paint became richer .  As usual with coffee and cigarettes we stood near the open door of the balcony .  I threw a cigarette butt, going past him, we encountered .  His hands hesitantly reached out to me and saying, "Well, give me a hug, I miss you! "He dragged me into the room .  Who knows you missed it or not, I thought, but happy to fulfill his request .  We are always fooling around before sex, someone who is stronger, but this time I wanted to pour on him all the pain she felt every day, wanted to shout from the vagueness and misunderstanding! And he, too, was not inferior to me, did not even try to tailor their power, so can fight brother and sister, two people loving each other people who can not express in words what they feel, believe me, I know what I'm talking .  Mother into hysterics when my brother and I struck up such games .  So by the time I was exhausted and surrendered at his mercy, the injuries were significant .  Although fully I felt a lot of them later .  As soon as I relax and stop resisting, Victor immediately ceased to press .  And so it began that for which he came to me .  In his eyes, it was so much tenderness and desire! To me no one was looking, and each time it was as the first! Just some kind of obsession ... And for me was a mystery how this man get on at the same time two natures, that still does not have quarreled with each other? Everyone has their own form of existence, but with such a maze of contradictions I come first!
Once, as always feeling coming from his distance, he drove me to his sister, a cousin, who lived very close by the standards of this city. It was the desire to kiss him goodbye, but I did not dare, I dared not to much, when he was near. What for? After all, between us, "simple", but I have all the complex as ever. I got out and hobbled to the store with empty hands do not go to visit, so it is accepted in my environment. Limping on his left leg, with each step smiling like crazy! Even my sister wrote him a sms home, "blah, walk, limp! "To which he replied:" Let not stick. " What he meant, I did not understand, but did not ask again, maybe the letter was wrong?
The next day, my sister and I visited the Indian exhibition entrance was free .  Nov. surprised chilly winter, the rain poured down without ceasing, the benefit was what to wear in combination with umbrella .  The exhibition center, where the event took place, it was dry, light and flies do not bite .  And it was full of all sorts of things: jewelry boxes, jewelry, fabrics, scarves and ... Indian henna painting on the body and basmoj .  Guess where I spent most of the time? Exactly there! Indian elderly inflicted pattern inherent in their nationality .  Unpretentious point, monogram, bars - all together looked masterpiece, at least I thought so .  It was then that I realized that I got a tattoo .  It haunts me with a desire to eighteen .  In the summer of Vic, without knowing it, a careless phrase "let's do as you tatuha, I have seen the girls - looks cool," reminded me of it .  I wanted to do something that in society, particularly in Krymsk, not welcome .  Just before I did not know what I want, and now decided .  Of course I made a drawing basmoj on his neck to try a temporary effect on itself, suddenly, not mine? But internal protest against tattoos I did not have, on the contrary, I burned it! And as usual, when something really want, then you get this .