As a woman should not behave with men

 As a woman should not behave with men

All women know that men are "hunters" and as long as she does not entirely belong to the man and rebellious, it is interesting. Psychology teaches women to declare their independence and male self-sufficiency. For example, if a woman tells a man that she is not his the second half and that it does not belong, then it selects the absolutely correct position.

The principle of "we are living together, but I'm an independent person, with their demands, her friends, and so on. D." It does not give the man to relax and not to respect a woman.

It is only necessary to define the line between personal freedom and responsibilities that involve relationships with men, two close friends.

For example, two different extremes of behavior of women, to be more clear.

The girl Tatiana, married 30 years. The marriage was for love and mutual interests. Tatiana educated intelligent woman with an analytical mind. She had formed a circle of friends, a pretty successful people. Future husband flattered that Tatiana such friends.

Before the wedding, they communicated with friends Tanya. Igor they took very well as respect for Tanya. After the wedding, which, incidentally, were invited to the Friends of Igor, they began to move away from familiar tannins. Igor began to "pull" his wife in the company of friends.

His spare time they spent in the company of her husband. Tatiana they reacted pretty cool, more than they allowed against her nasty remarks, which did not raise it in the eyes of her husband. Eventually Igor stopped to appreciate his wife. This was the first mistake Tatiana. Its familiar, reliable and discreet people communicating with her husband, on the contrary touted her compliments.

Of course, not always friends of her husband mistreated his wife, but in general, it is not uncommon. At work, Tatiana respected and appreciated at home, she turned to gray and uninteresting "mouse". Despite the fatigue, she always performed her chores. The home is always order and cleanliness, Igor always waiting for a delicious dinner at beautifully set table. The dream of every man.

Tatiana lost her own friends, because all the calls with a proposal to meet it refuses, as it is considered impossible in the evenings though from time to time, disappearing from home. Once married, the more love, in a rather mature age, and it must devote ourselves family.

The more she tried, the less esteemed husband and more "sat down on her head." Every day he expressed Tatyana more and more claims. He began to linger in the evening, then completely can not come overnight. They had a child, but that did not stop him.

Relationship getting worse. After the scandals she went to his apartment, but after the first call of her husband rushed back. She tried to talk to her husband, to conduct "sentimental and soul-saving conversation," which of course came to nothing lead. Crying, shouting, cursing.

But Igor was not afraid to lose it. He knew that he did, Tanya nevertheless tries to keep the family together. But after an argument each time trying to improve relations. Husband naglel. And at some point, Tanya broke down and went to live with yourself.

She did everything for his own family. But all her efforts have not yielded positive results. All of this actually happened, however, managed to change the situation then.

The second story illustrates another "inflection point" in the relationship.

The couple, the wife of a modern woman with modern views on life, knows exactly what can not be "dissolved" in a man. Both spouses were well paid and challenging work. Olga did not want at this time to have children. She has successfully climbed the "official" stairs and confident to make a career.

Olga was a very charming girl, which admired the man. Olga, as well as Tatiana married for love, but apparently having read the psychology of how to behave to always be loved, the only desirable woman, just "gone too far".

Olga was guided only by their wishes and did only what she wanted. She always told her husband about personal freedom, that she has a right to privacy. And at the slightest dissatisfaction with her husband, she went to his mother to live. Is my mother as much as she sees fit. At home, she does absolutely nothing.

Anton was very fond of his wife. I fulfill all her wishes. Sam did homework, cleaned the apartment is ready. Relatives Anton Olga saw a completely different person, Anton tried to explain that because the family did not build that he became nervous and overstrained, but he did not want to notice.

Familiar, too, are somewhere in a former life. Olga did not want to communicate with them, and they in turn do not want to chat with an ambitious woman. One Anton did not go anywhere without him all Olga seemed uninteresting and boring. Anton breathed only Olga. He gave her flowers, arranged fireworks, constantly presents it not cheap gifts and surprises.

When she went to her sister's life, Anton is meaningless. The best gift for Anton's wife was calling, asking to take her away from her sister. It briefly became gentle and affectionate, kind words to say, and Anton was happy. But at work he was doing were not going well. Olga apply to it the method of "swing". Good bad.

But Anton was becoming increasingly nervous about a year they have lived with such dealings. As time went on. Anton started to get used to Olga, I began to realize that wherever she was leaving, still come back to him. The fear of losing her blunted and then completely disappeared. Later came the realization that he closed himself from society, has closed to Olga.

Dragged gray days. Groomed apartment, for which he ceased to follow, lack of food. He began to restore relations with friends. Disassemble the works that started at work. And one day, when Olga once again went to his mother, he did not pick up. Their age is close to 30 years.

Olga was also successful and beautiful. And she is not particularly worried breakup. Quite a few men revolved around Olga, and she believed that quickly choose a worthy mate. Anton, though he was the initiator of a breakup, while still worried.

Eventually he calmed down, got to know a wonderful girl, and now they are waiting for the child. Olga was looking for a loyal, intelligent, secured by a man, a very normal desire, but it is not considered one thing, that a man who took no will throw the first attractive woman. And will look for a companion that will not only demand, and more will perform the duties of the spouses.

Hard to believe that a successful and secured the man wants to come tired from work in a dirty apartment, and then wait for the husband to come and walk up this delight. Olga has over 30 years of age and still have it in the search.

Both women and Tatiana, Olga and "went too far". Tanya withdrew to the family and husband, and Olga withdrew myself. Both leads to the breakdown of relationships. Of course, men are "hunters" and the woman is allowed to play up and keep them in "good shape" and should not abandon his friends and wants. You should always have your "personal space."

You can not turn into a "appendage" of her husband, otherwise you will become "read the book" nagging and uninteresting, and all will be spending the evening alone, waiting for her husband.

You are sure to find a "middle ground" in a relationship with a man. What are we to you all and wish.

Good luck!

How bored with all his "fad" and complexes!

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All of us at certain times of life becomes interested in psychology. Even if you are smart by nature and well-formed, then, faced with the inability to explain the words and deeds of a loved one from the standpoint of common sense and the female logic, start looking for the answers to your questions in the features of male psychology.

Sometimes it starts with a discussion of the problem with the veteran friend and ends consult a psychologist or therapist session.

Obsession akkuratist

From the letter B .: Faith

- About once a week we're going to close the circle and the women usually begin to wash their bones pious. But what if such a bleak turned our life in marriage ?! Especially in terms not ashamed, because I have known each other for two decades. At Natasha's husband - a terrible miser, have Lyudka - terry selfish Lariskin builds itself know-all. In this scenario, most cases of female sympathy I receive.

Where have you seen that guy on the cycle order and cleanliness that respect they became for him "fad" that because of them he did not give to live normally neither wife nor child ?!

In the first year after the wedding, his behavior is softened, then surprised, even shocked me. Coming home from work, and he kitchen towels boil, briefs his and my two sides ironed, toilet with bath chlorinates ... You said, disguise in a clean gown, hands with antibacterial soap and water wash, go to the kitchen to dinner, where I disinfect spent the soup boil.

While I was eating in a perfectly clean kitchen of sterilized equipment, it has a window in the room wash second time this week. On the one hand, everything is fine: the house very clean, almost everything is done hands beloved and loving husband. On the other hand, somehow all this is not a man, somehow everything is excessive, exaggerated. Further more.

When the daughter was born, I became more difficult during the day to maintain the purity of her husband induced. We started the first quarrel, and now it's up to the scandals came. My friends and relatives, even some friends of Paul by my side. All of them agree that it is hard to communicate people.

I'm not messy, too, love to all the apartment was clean and orderly. I do not want to say that I - the ideal woman. Of course, I have flaws, but they are all, so to speak, within the normal range. Paul's also some kind of pathology is already visible. The fact that this kind of complex, shows the following.

All things, dishes, linens, food husband puts into place. This, of course, there is nothing wrong. But if suddenly one of us, I or daughter does not and is not to put the shoes, put an apple, hung a towel, he immediately begins to find fault, yelling at us to quarrel with us, that is satisfied with "a storm in a teacup" .

According to the most insignificant occasion he has a tremendous excitement. Sometimes, when her husband enthusiastically washing dishes or wipe the dust, it seems to me that if my daughter leave the sterile apartment, he does not notice our absence. Perhaps it will even be happy in the knowledge that there is now no one sprayed, do not pollute. That's why I started talking about divorce.

The short unrecognized genius

A letter from Anne D .:

- After the wedding, I immediately turned to my wife complexes. He was suddenly overcome by a painful awareness of their abnormality - it is a little, you see, below me. Where his eyes when the buzz around me two years, and then offered his hand and heart ?!

How could, to gratify its undersized. Conversations with him preventative conducted lectures on the benefits of the low men he had read on the heels and high hair refused to even start to slouch. Nothing helped. Dasha birth, calmed down, stopped jealous.

Soon he descended upon him the grace of God: to compose the music began. It would seem that everything is fine. But there it was. Overnight, it turned into a sort of hyperexcitability, vulnerable creature. He's so sensitive! But when something concerns him personally. How bitter it becomes in his heart, if someone touches his excitable "aura", which immediately trembles and feels misunderstood.

What would become of our life, if I had also started to emit a plaintive cries, lying on the couch? After a while came the drive on which were his songs. Since then, he's a talent, a genius. The instinct of vanity goes hungry in his vanity, his "aura" is becoming more sensitive, and hail falling at her insults inflicted by friends, singers and other representatives of show business.

But I am obliged to walk around on tiptoe, the smallest speck of dust to blow off a possible offense. Then you sit and break your head, wondering what that meant. Do this in vain, there is resentment in him continually, she rushes forward and looking only for something to cling to her. For this fit everything scattered my opinion, careless word, my actions and my inaction.

With such a man who imagines himself a genius, have to be treated as mentally ill, be lenient and tolerated. Blessed peculiar torture made me a victim. His sense of superiority and passing all bounds conceit unbearable.

It remains for me to save her pain, thickening the bitterness of disappointment. I'm doomed to comfort his talented permanently if it poor, visit the boredom, insomnia, creative failure, the blues. And my cup is already full of disappointments. I'm more than a gifted, looking for consolation and help.

For me, working woman, "hang" the child, house, villa, car, dog ... Maybe stop to listen and look for him? Let seeks, if it finds such a good and wise, who have ears and heart to these speeches and actions.

I will return to the doctors

So you terribly tired of his complexes. Do you plan to hike to a psychologist or psychiatrist. You can imagine what this event is all over. Talk to your doctor, as a rule, nothing convincing and unexpected deliverance complexes brings.

The survey results demonstrate the obvious decrease in activity, emotional devastation, the predominance of the closed inner life, exclusion from the outside world, the decline of mental activity. All this can take the form of attacks or continuously for a certain time.

If all of this man "has" in the mild, the diagnosis of the following - oscillating between human health and disease. The specialist will try to get you to pay serious attention to the established scientific psychological characteristics of males.

Although before you is not in doubt the existence of significant biological or universal forms reflecting the sexual division of labor and social roles of the differences between men and women. And you leave the doctor with a "walking" stereotypes about the uniqueness of such a vulnerable creatures - men.

What to do? Change the flea, the complex on a jammed? I do not always want or received. That's how we live: their problems - our suffering. Now we are saddled with their "fad." Narrowing brought to such a condition.

Author: Tatjana Poretsky





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